|Current mood:|| crushed|
|Current music:||"Pictures Of You" by The Cure|
O.o; I've come to a conclusion.
Almost no one takes me seriously.
I've been hiding behind this idiotic mask for so long that no one knows I exist... That sounds odd, I know. But, I mean...Me...No one really knows ME. Everyone knows Nycki. Not Nicole. Nycki. It's been like that for awhile now.... Blah, ignore the above blabber, that's all it is, BLABBER.
...I want to slap Patrick.
Well, I'm officially getting worse too. He's right, I don't want to die. But I don't HAVE to die to leave this reality. The stupid voices are back >.< And Carri and Artemis are always arguing...I want to shoot them. I don't so much mind Paramie becuz all she does is sit and listen to music, occasionally talking or asking a question.
We had to drop my sister off at horse-riding today... As soon as I saw the horses I felt like crying... Stupid longing to be back in the saddle... I love riding, I wish I could start again... But mom says she can't afford to send both of us... Ya know, about two years ago, my sister and I went totally horse-mad, we went riding together, talking about horses almost 24/7, read books and magazines about 'em... I liked that... And ya know what I still wish I could do? Work with horses for the rest of my life... I wish I could live way out in the country and be with horses forever... I guess alot of people won't be able to understand me, and I probably sound crazy... But once you've been in that saddle... Once you've galloped through a field on the back of a five year old Thoroughbred filly... You'll never understand it... They're so beautiful and wonderful...and I love them. *sighs* "If only wishes could be dreams, then all my dreams could come true..."
Well, I don't have much else to write...
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|Wait...NO SLAPPING!!!! |
I don't wanna be slapped. I only did something bad once. Not a million times. I don't need to be slapped. I'm done already. It's really dumb to do. Lmao, everyone thinks that just because I did it once it means I'm going to become dependent upon it. Blah on you all! I'm done already. It's stupid, like I said before. Anywho, I'm off. And no slapping me!!!|
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