Know what I hate the most about a good chunk of things in this world? Depression. Anxiety. Reclusive behavior. and I hate being scared all of the damn time.
it is so fucked up because this has been an on-going problem for seven years now and even though i have been on tons of pills, it just does not stop. i cannot go outside for fear of getting hurt, dying, getting sick or just fear of people. i am sick alot of the time, and always taking some pill or other to get better. i have this awfully weak immune system and if i am around someone who is sick, i will always get what they got and it NEVER GOES AWAY.
how annoying. i really shouldn't be ranting. i know this is just some pms-related thing because i am on paxil and since i am on paxil, i should not be getting depressed all the damn time and yet i do. i don't understand it. perhaps i need a different drug. i dont know anymore. i used to think i knew a lot but now i don't think i know anything at all.
perhaps i never did mature and people just told me as much to make me feel good about myself. yet, why do i feel like i am thirty instead of eighteen going on nineteen? how the fuck is that possible? honestly, i do not know and I don't think I want to know. And I have started to capitalize because I am teh Grammar Nazi and would go change everything as it should be if I was not so lazy.
Dee just came on. Time for some Harry/Blaise smut! <33
I miss Shaina. Really miss her. We spoke today and it was awesome. On AIM. Haha, her boyfriend thought she was having an internet affair because I kept telling her how much I love/miss her. Can I help that she and I used to be thistight and best mates? -shrugs- I should go search for some communities on here. I hope this place is as alive as other places... Because I need some fresh, new shizen. And some friends on here.
-waves-
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