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MR. BROWN MAN (stfumrbrownman) wrote,
@ 2004-10-27 20:46:00
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    Current mood: frustrated
    Current music:Phish - "Quadrophenia"

    Oh, Miss/Mister Moon, are you REALLY made of cheese?
    12. Hours. Of. School. . .

    AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP IN TOMORROW! I really cannot take much more of waking up EVERY FUCKING MORNING, and knowing I have to go to school. I hate it. I hate it so much. I can get up early, but it just really sucks knowing that I'm going to sit around and learn about shit I DON'T CARE ABOUT. The only classes I care about are creative writing and history. And I don't even like American history, but I'm too stupid, and too much of a slacker for European history. I'm not even in an art class at the moment. Last quarter, that was my favorite part of the day. I hate school, and I want to drop out, but I know that's a bad idea. I don't want to spend the rest of my life working at McDonald's. I want to show my family that I CAN do something good. I want to be better than my mom and dad. My mom is a high school dropout, who never did anything with her life besides smoke pot, and sit around in a dirty-ass trailer. I hate her. I hate her for letting me down. I hate her for running away and not caring. I hate her because she hates herself. She's a fuckup, and she realizes it now, after losing both of her sons. I've always been so embarrassed of her. The way she looks, where she lives, how she lives. I just can't stand it. But, I just wish that she would call me. She's my fucking mother!

    ---

    I'm watching the moon slowly disappear outside of my window. The moon is almost gone.

    We walked around the cemetary today during creative writing. We were supposed to write poems about random dead people. I looked for my brother's and my step-father's graves, but could not find them. Oh well. Cemetary's are really depressing. So many people are dead. So many people I know are dead, and it freaks me out.

    You should call me sometime.
    826-3613 OR 524-3822



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