not sure yet
ok, if i only knew why i was so nervous. i just got off the phone with lori.. she gave me the thorough details with what happened last night. especially between them. she said i have nothing to worry about, he didn't look at her like he looked (or as she said looks, but w/e) at me. it's eating me away, i wish i just knew how to fucking say goodbye. tonight i made plans with chris amato, b/c they got so destroyed last week.. but lori invited me to dan's party. now i'm in another predictament. i hate breaking plans with people, but i'd so much rather go to this party. which would make me happier though? i'm not sure.. lori would do anything to make me happy. she told me about all the time she almost said something to her last night, or when my name was mentioned almost did something. but, i'm really glad she didn't. but still, i know she's almost always there, and especially in silly times like these. i'm grateful to her for that. i had a really really weird dream last night.. i think it derived from me talking to anton. anton is really great, he has such a good personality and i can talk to him for hours on end. i wish i could have feelings for him, it would make my life so much easier. but anyways, my dream. dan from rocky point invited everyone in the music dept. to his "sweet 18", so we all went, but it was too late, it was already over. so we all just hungout there, and people were filling out college applications. then my dad called me because he found a beer bottle in my room, and i blamed it all on chris. then i was sleeping on my couch, and dustin was there. sooo weird. dustin has been talking to me a lot more lately, saying he misses me and stuff. i wish i just had feelings for him, too. but nothing compares. i'm in such a strange mood, i think these pancakes have gotten to my brain. mm ihop..
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