| Current mood: |  lonely |
i dont know what to do...im so sick of people comming to me and telling me that their my friend and shit and telling me that they know how i feel and that i can go and talk to them and everything...but then like...ditching me. all the time. i dont fucking get it. i start walking with someone...say in the mall. all of a sudden i look up and their not there and instead their walking with other people and lo and behold caitlins alone once again. this is unbelievable. i cant fucking take this. no, im not trying to guilt trip you molly or maddi, im just sick of being told that basicly im cool enough to chill with yall but then you hardly include mein anything yall do. im always chasing you down and going to your room just to be left there. im always walking with someone just to be ditched. im sick of it. tell me straight up whats going on, i dont want any bullshitting i want the truth. i dont care if im not "in" enough for any of you and not a teeny bopper and i know you dont like my music...sorry i do like marilyn manson i do like all that "scary music" and "freaks" and believe it or not i am one of those "freaks". i dont know if you guys are doing this intentionaly or not i dont know anything but i do know that i dont deserve it. friendship isnt a game. it goes two ways. i dont think its fair for you to say that no one understands when you dont give them a chance cuz actualy i have a pretty good insight on a lot of shit no one here knows jack shit about me ive probably been through more shit then a lot of people here and no one sees that. im not stupid. i know when people are playing games and i see that in a whole lot of people. and thats definatly not a cool thing to do. i dont know, maybe im just jumping to conclusions and assuming things but its been almost 3 months that ive been here that ive been blown off by almost everyone here and im not going to take it much longer. seems to me that the only person who cares here is caitlin boyd and erica...and i dont even know that. like i said, i have been through shit and that leaves me very skeptical...what ever. im not gonna belittle you or put up a condesending air...i definatly know reality from emotions...look. just tell me the truth. im just about to say fuck it and let all of this go but i like some people here a lot and im not really up for being a loner but im also not up for being used like i have been. i already said this, friendship goes both ways. im not going to do all the work and be nice at your conveniance, i expect something in return. fuck it, im not going to open up anymore to people who dont care. i aint talking about you lisa...you delia alex and maya are the only ones who do understand. whatever. peace.
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 bruisednbr0ken
2003-11-03 14:50
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hi .. yeah umm .. i don*t not include u . it seems like u never reallie wanna hang out with me or nething, and when we do hang out .. it doesnt last long . i dunno why ? i wus thinkin the same exact thing .. like at the mall .. im like where is she . i juss want u to kno i do consider u a friend . ur one of the few people i actuallie like here . and to be honest . ur fuckin awesome .. ur an awesome person . ur so kool and funnie and fun to be around .. but i mean sorrie if it seems like i dont like u or w.e but i reallie do .. and i kno u dont believe it but i AM here for u and i WILL listen to u and even if i dont understand everything i will TRY my best to understand . im here for u .. and i care ..
love you
xo mOlLi (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| umm yea
(Anonymous)
2003-11-04 12:24
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umm...yeah....caitlin....i love u to death...and i dont mean to not include u in ne thing....i mean like i consider u one of my good friends...and i mean like if i act that way tell me...but i mean i haven't been exactly sure what i want with me yet and i have been sticking to molly so she can help with it....bc i the truth is i never knew that u would help me with it...i didn't wanna stress u out or ne thing like that...thats y i haven't been chillin with u....and i mean....like if u wanna chill, come in my room and if i leave follow me out...i don't care...im not trying to ditch u at all....i love u....man....please....ill talk to u more...and man i don't have a prob with the musiq u listen to and i don't have a prob with u being a "freak"....i don't....and im sry for "blowin u off"....i love u....maddi (Reply to this) (Thread) |
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