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the last time i'll try to reach you (soccerdudedmc) wrote,
@ 2004-05-09 21:04:00
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    Current mood:impressed
    Current music:the pale, denali, the flaming lips, the beatles, piebald

    too many sensations now for a good feeling
    i'm not really sure how to describe the philosophy i've been in the mood to spout. probably because the only way i can express it is when i'm debating/arguing/lecturing someone, not in a format where i'm talking to myself. but it's been there. i guess i've realized that nothing stays, nothing stays perfect, nothing stays negative, things change regardless of how they were before. i've realized a few things about individuality, and respect. namely, how it really doesn't exist in high school. i mean, the main reason people get defensive over things such as wearing the same outfit as someone else or listening to the same band or having the same car or guitar or anything has to do with respect and individuality. if people truly aren't that different than each other on the inside, our individuality is found in our material possessions and tastes. and when someone who you don't respect/doesn't respect you like you think they should (the two obviously go hand in hand) then you feel like they aren't deserving of what you're doing, what you're liking. that is why i think people get catty and bitchy and possessive. it has nothing to do with having a low self-esteem or a high-self esteem, and everything to do with wanting to be yourself, and not getting the respect or giving the respect that is deserved. otherwise, people wouldn't feel okay about sharing anything material. i wonder if it's always going to be the trivial things that separate us from each other, both in terms of individuality and in conflict. i'll find out someday.

    the last week has been a time where thinking in this sort of manner has been commonplace. there have been many meaningless, mindless tasks to complete in preparation for the most mindless task of them all: finals. i mean, monkeys can memorize, and so can i. but i like it that way. anyways, when everyone's so caught up in the shuffle, one can only contain themself. i guess deep thought leads one away from impulsive decisions, which i almost made some of this week. i don't know what thinking about them meant, and i know that with time, it won't be such an impulsive thing to think about. i'm not excited for next week because of the thing i was talking about in the above paragraph: i suddenly feel possessive. and i don't see that as a bad thing, i see that as me not always being respected. i guess it's part of the bigger struggle of things changing and morphing into a sense of not being able to be expressive with so many people you used to be, and expression is a key to having a friendship. so basically, the trivial things in life can be attributed to losing connection and losing touch.

    what i want right now is an opportuinity to tell people things. a place that's risk-free. and not intimidating. i want time right now with people that i haven't had time for recently, and time for people that i haven't been around in a long time. i want to tie up a few loose ends before all the other knots unravel.

    when i get to the bottom i go back to the top of the slide, where i stop and i turn and i go for a ride, 'til i get to the bottom and i see you again--Helter Skelter



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wow gold
(Anonymous)
2008-04-15 21:45 (link)
There are some people who have no time to "farm" or earn in-game money to play an online videogame, so they opt to buy in-game money to spend in online games.Then have a new business disapear,we often call it RMT(Real Money Trade).Which has some kinds of ways to buy gold As you could buy them from ebay once,and you can buy them from some online gold stores.
funingame is an exchange site which designed specifically for game virtual currencies & items trading,it is your another choice.you can buy
Wow Gold,
Guild Wars Gold,
Maple story mesos,
eve isk,
runescape gold there.
What's more,funingame has other game sites, sell lotro gold,RF Online currency,
World Of Warcraft Gold ,
runescape money.
.And have Tales of pirates forum,
top players can discuss there.Meanwhile you can sell your gold to
us

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