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not so dead and broken... [BANG] you've killed me. (singletear) wrote,
@ 2004-06-09 19:42:00
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    Current mood:hurt, pissed, lost
    Current music:my brothers words stabbing me

    brother you are no more
    dear shane,

    you think you know me, but guess what take your head out of your ass and realize that i'm not a 100% like you. i'm not fucking up my like like you did and are still doing. i am not filling my nose with white powder that is slowing eating away my face, I HATE YOU! fuck you for telling people that i am doing drugs, that i am living with a pot head. fuck you for calling me a slut! fuck you shane!
    i can't believe you say you care about me and yet everytime we talk you have to try to knock me down to your level. the level of nothinginess. i hate you. you say you are my brother, but you're not. you're no one.

    i can't even believe you have the balls to say that i am doing the same shit that you do. it sickens me. i might be a lot like you, but that changes today. right now. i don't want to resemble you in one way, in any way. i hate it, i hate you, i hate who you have become. i hate those lie you tell yourself, i hate the lies you tell me, i hate the lies you tell everyone.... it disgust me that people actually believe. i can't believe i believed you for so long. you think your better. keep telling yourself that until you put that next line up your nose. tell yourself that everytime you smoke pot. tell yourself that everytime you lie. fuck you, i can't believe i wasted time getting to know you.

    why shane? why me? you dont' know me, you weren't there. and you still aren't. you call my insominia a drug problem?!?!! guess what shane.... its not. its life. life i deal with on my own. fuck you for say that you went through what i did, you don't even know what life was and is like for me. you weren't there. and you still aren't. i hate you! you say my life was great, that i got everythign that i've ever wanted. that i had a blessed life, that i am rich, that i have everything, that i even had a good childhood. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!

    shane when i finally do tell you this, it will be the last time i talk to you. i promise. see that is one thing that i do that you don't do. i only make promises i can keep. and this is the first promise i've made to you. its the last thing you'll ever get from me.

    hate, jessie
    * your little ex-sister

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