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BadAzzRA (shogunofharlem) wrote,
@ 2003-12-10 01:39:00
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    In a moment there is time for decisions and revisions that a
    moment will reverse...

    The above is from one of my favorite poems. Every time I read it, I find new meaning in it. Every time I come to a crossroads in my life, I find new meaning in it. When I'm 40 and having a midlife crisis, it doubtless will blow me away with its depth...

    Im no longer sure what I want. Im not sure that I want to be a lawyer anymore. I dont think I have the killer instinct. I set my teeth into someone, then I lose all interest. Its not that I'm bored, just...apathetic.

    Nothing can keep my interest for long.

    But I'm a senior. I'm about to graduate. Im on the edge of having the safety cord that is childhood cut and beginning my adult life. (I'm given to bad metaphors, so sue me)

    And Im not sure what I want.

    So many of what I thought were solid beliefs of mine are changing each day. Some changes are for the good. I feel my faith, long since dormant, re-awakening. Slowly. I'm loathe to rush it, but something in me desires a reacquaintance with G_d, instead of just mouthing my prayers each night.

    Now I'm just pissed. I started out intending to write it all out, purge it from my system, and then Will came up to talk downstairs. So I had to stop. And while I talked, the urge deserted me.

    That is my problem. My emotions, even the strongest, are fleeting.

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2003-12-11 14:42 (link)
From the first read through, I thought you might just be nervous about graduating and what lies ahead. That's normal, it should be expected and you should take a little comfort in the fact that you know things are going to change and it's somewhat out of your hands. But upon the 2nd and 3rd read through, (maybe it was the way you write) it seemed to me that there may be something a little deeper troubling you than just simple change. Are you not happy with the way your life is going right now? And is it because of something you've done to make it like that? Or are you regretful about something? I'm not a psychologist or anything. Granted, I don't know you hardly at all on any personal level, but that still somehow doesn't stop me from caring about ya'. I mean, some poor bastard on here could be having hardcore traumatic shit happening to them and I may have spoken to them a couple times, but I'm not goin' to lose sleep over it. Maybe I'm a retard for worrying about you and worrying about the fact that I probably couldn't do much to comfort you or talk things through with you. Nevermind, I'm getting off topic, I'll try again later.

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2003-12-15 13:21 (link)
Doesn't the line read "In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions that a minute will reverse." - not moment.

The poem is T.S. Elliots The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufock.. right?

Just wondering.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

2003-12-15 19:28 (link)
I don't like quoting directly from something I havent fully memorized yet, because that encourages me to memorize quotes and not the whole thing.

So I change a few minor things

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