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ShiannE (shigal) wrote,
@ 2003-12-06 14:09:00
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    The holidays are coming soon. My first reaction is to enjoy them - but I just can't. The adult life has finally hit me and I can't focus much on anything except how much money I wish I had.. and how little I do have.. I sit there and try and organize over and over what ive got to do :

    - pay rent on the 15th
    - pay a little towards medical debt
    - save money for tuition next january
    - save a little towards car insurance
    - save some for gas
    - xmas shopping for like 6 ppl
    - birthday shopping for 2

    I hate it. I hate this reality. I feel closed-in and suffocated. Im starting to think of crazy ways to make money - maybe sell my photography? Maybe online? I do have a hosted website.... How do I know that some ppl out there would buy it though? Does this sound like a dumb idea?

    Oh the woes .... speaking of that, I turn 20 in 22 days. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - still dont know what to do for that either. I want to have a themed dinner party and have great fun for everyone - but my friends arent into that thing so it wouldnt be as much fun.. makes me sad because I wish I had friends that would do that.. I just wish they were more lighthearted.. or maybe just different. I dont know.. Im not going to be mean, so I am going to go.

    hope you all are better than I, this holiday season.


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pictureyellow
2003-12-06 18:12 (link)
i feel the same way. i think i should love the holidays, but i don't. it was fun when i was 8 or so, and my mom gave me money to buy my dad's present, and vice versa. i will still buy some presents for 4 people, but it will have to be on credit cards since i'm pretty much living off my loans from school. i have been feeling like this for years, just wondering if there will ever be a time when i have enough money to actually enjoy wasting it on presents. maybe in hmmmm 4 years or so after i get out of grad school and have a real job. good luck with your holidays. just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

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shigal
2003-12-07 00:51 (link)
Thank you for telling me you feel the same - you know, misery loves company =P

It's just so hard to see so many people on television and in magazines that have all of this money to do whatever - Its just in my face 24/7 and to know that you feel the same as I do really means alot to me ..

its tough.

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Re:
pictureyellow
2003-12-08 00:02 (link)
well on tv everyone has everything...well for the most part, but from what i can see, most of the people i know don't have all that much money, so it's not as bad for me i guess. all my friends are in college so we are all poor.

have you decided on a theme for your party yet?

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Re:
shigal
2003-12-08 14:35 (link)
no - my friends prolly wont fully get into it you know? =(

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Re:
pictureyellow
2003-12-08 17:40 (link)
i want to go to midevile (sp?) times, but no one i know would want to go, so i feel you.

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twoluce19
2003-12-07 04:04 (link)
okay, I didnt have time to read the whole post, but i will tomorrow, i promise (im feeling shitty again :(. but from what I read, (and im sending xmas wishes your way().. okay, i better just get to sleep, cuz i feel l ike shit and i doint think im typing very well either

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shigal
2003-12-08 14:40 (link)
im waiting ;)

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twoluce19
2003-12-08 20:18 (link)
okay, my last comment was pretty incoherent. I wasnt tired, but couldn't keep my eyes open. it was strange.
Try try try to enjoy the holiday season! its such a special time of year! But i know it can be hard when you have so much on your plate.
Why not trying to sell photog. online? it wouldn't hurt to try. who knows, maybe that is how you'll make your fortune! =)
a themed dinner party would be tons o' fun!
I'm trying something new. I'm trying to smile once a day, a real, genuine smile. Its quite the task for me, because I am not a natural 'smiler'.

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madscientist
2003-12-07 14:05 (link)
Adulthood sucks. Luckily, I've been revoked my status as an adult. Ah, the joys of still being dependent on your parents into your 20s... :)

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Re:
shigal
2003-12-08 14:39 (link)
lol i live at home but only depend on the food, water, shelter... uhmn ok im dependant too - but i still pay for lots of stuff i do ;)

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xlostromanticsx
2003-12-08 14:53 (link)
OMG shigal!! GUESS WHAT?!?! guess what book my teacher passed out today for us to start reading... THE GREAT GATSBY!!! i immediately thought of you and dave... i can't wait to start it YAY

(Reply to this) (Thread)


nogonzo
2003-12-17 22:45 (link)
I might be completely out of line here (commenting). I'm not sure if you write this just for certain people, or what you may expect here. But we have a mutual friend, and I like the way you get your feelings and point out, so I enjoy reading when you have new entries. There is something articulate about it. But enough of that nonsense. The point of all this was supposed to be that you are not the only one with a displaced feeling this time of year. I also have the bills looming on top of the shopping. With a little luck, and perhaps a little help from your friends, the Spirit of the Season will catch up with you before it is too late to really enjoy it. Good luck (and I apologize if I am intruding)

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Re:
shigal
2003-12-18 00:08 (link)
oh you're not intruding! id make the entries friends only or custom otherwise.. in fact because you flattered me sooo much you're going to be added to my friends list allright?

=) tata sweetie!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


nogonzo
2003-12-18 18:47 (link)
I would be honored to be added to your friends list. And if it's okay with you, I'll add you to my list also. If you can call one person a List.

adiĆ³s

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Re:
shigal
2003-12-18 21:37 (link)
lol soundgs like a plan! =)

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