.:I want to be somebody else:. (shedreamsinblue) wrote, @ 2002-12-01 14:20:00

Current mood:	groggy
Current music:	Kittie - Paperdoll

First update...
I'm making this journal friends only. I have a lot of things that I don't want the general public to know about me. There are too many secrets that I could be judged on. I'm a little crazy at times...depressed at points, scared, confused, growing, learning...if you don't want to be a part of this process, kindly go away.
Please leave a comment here if you would like to be added. I might just add you back, if I so desire.
Take care.

xsafetyxpinnedx 2002-12-05 14:03 (link)

hey. i dont know much about you. i know that one of ur interests is dying. thats how i found you. my interests are similar to yours. i wanna be someone else too. life isnt to happy for me and i thought that maybe we could wish for death together. if you read my journal, its nothing personal. everthing on it is public news. nothing against society. but nothing too deep is in it yet. i started it yesterday. i dunno. im prolley kidding myself right now. but i cant say i didnt try. . . (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shedreamsinblue 2002-12-05 18:52 (link)
	I'm adding you to my list. :) I know how you feel...trust me. Life is shitty at the mo. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

xsafetyxpinnedx 2002-12-06 09:51 (link)

thanks for adding me. and i'll keep you posted on your site. but my momma came in yesterday with a bad mood and basically said that my whole exitstance is meaningless and she couldnt stand to look at me (what else it new.). but she said that i was rebelling and hiding stuff from her in my journal and is making me deltet it. but i wont. im grounded for themoment for drinknign so there no reasoning, but when i get back in school, mid-january, im going to discuss it with her and tell her i can put it on friends only so no one can read it unless they have my password. and if someone hacks thier way in i'll tell her its not going to have anything important in it anyway. just a day by day analysis on life. so i may not write anything for a while but i will try to get back into it asap. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

shedreamsinblue 2002-12-06 10:21 (link)

I'm so sorry that your mother treats you like that. :( It seems like she has an awful lot of control over your life, something that I'm familiar with myself, as my step-father used to be that way with me. That is why I ended up leaving home at the age of 15. It wasn't easy, but it had to be done. Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not recommending the same course of action to you, by any means. I really wish I had stayed in the house with my mother. She died back in August and I hadn't seen her for almost 3 years prior to that. I miss her like crazy. :-/ Stay strong, sweetie. I hope everything works out for you in the end. If you want to im me, my name on aim is shedreamsinblue and my email is babyrae16@hotmail.com if you want to talk sometime. Take care of yourself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

xsafetyxpinnedx 2002-12-06 17:52 (link)

thanks alot. my momma isnt always mean. shes on meds right now and they make her screwy sometimes. but we normally have a daily fight. now thier getting stupid over things like this journal, i mean all of a sudden im rebelling and keeping secrets and doing things without asking. i asked if i could have a web page. i guess this is different. i just feel misunderstood. alot. . . (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shedreamsinblue 2002-12-07 12:13 (link)
	I got an email saying it was your birthday...so happy birthday, hun. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

THANKS! xsafetyxpinnedx 2002-12-09 09:16 (link)

heh. the parents took me to olive tree and they sand to me!!! to meeeeee! i felt special, and surprised. i didnt get a birhtdayy cake or nuttin. but the olive tree people gave me a free piece of cake. it was chocolate :P. i thihnk it was stail as well . . . . any whooo i think things are getting better with me and momma. she doesnt get upset as often. she take valum and welbutron and all that stuff. and she thinks that i have no idea she takes anti depressants. how dumb does she think her off spring is. really. hm. well i shall be going! ciao! <3 .p.a.i.g.e.y. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	may i? manic_degrees 2002-12-15 01:48 (link)
	may i be let in? your post has made me curious.... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: may i? shedreamsinblue 2002-12-15 04:19 (link)
	Sure...but I don't post in here much. You can find more of me at http://www.livejournal.com/~o0bluedreams0o (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	manic_degrees 2002-12-15 09:43 (link)
	okay. thanks. (Reply to this) (Thread)