Shannon (shann79) wrote, @ 2006-09-11 22:28:00

This weekend brought me to Monday with a lot to process.

Who am I? What do I need? Why do I do the things I do? Am I who I think I am?

Balance isn't a strong suit of mine. It's always too much this way. Too much that way. I haven't found that comfortable spot in the center where things just line up and feel right. Sometimes I look around me and I see people sitting contentedly in the balance and I wonder why I've not found it yet. Where is this secret place? When will I find mine? Will I ever find it?

Things have been going too far in one direction for too long. I think I need to head the other way. There's stuff on the other side that I've been neglecting for far too long... and I think, sometimes, I even fool myself into thinking I'm going, but really, it's more like a day trip than a relocation.

The place where I can find balance is on the Cornerstone. I'm trying to stand over here, and maybe over there, and then some other place, but those places all make me fall. They're shaky. I try to stand up straight, but I can't. When I try, things start wobbling all over, and I can't do it. And I don't want to be slouchy forever just to stay in those places. When my God comes first, I know the other things in my life fall into their places. And there, only there, I find balance.

I was challenged last night to think about where my feet are standing. Do I have one foot in the world? I think I'm guilty of that. It's so easy for my sinful, human head to convince my heart that it's okay to live a certain way. Especially if I'm enjoying it. But thank God for convictions.

And for the record, thank God for loving me enough to give me convictions. He doesn't have to stop me or punish me or cause me to stumble in order to make me realize I'm being an idiot. But he does, and that's how I know beyond a doubt that I'm a child of God.

Back to my pursuit of balance.

	(Anonymous) 2006-09-11 23:09 (link)
	You've always been so good at writing - you should take some of your journal entries and compile them into your own devotional - might be a great one for young women. . . I know I'd sure buy it for my girls! Love you lots and lots and lots! Miss seeing you too! Come visit sometime - SOON! We're less then 2 hours from you! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2006-09-11 23:55 (link)
	Very good and challenging entry. I think it makes us all sit back and figure out where we are in this world and what we are doing. Sometimes we just need to stop and take a look around us. Thank you. jdn99 (Reply to this) (Thread)