What kind of man does a girl deserve?
What's worth holding out for, and what's expecting too much?
Are there hard things you just have to accept, or is that settling?
I have these questions... and more... sliding around in my head lately. I've got relationships on the brain these days, and I guess I'm just starting to wonder if I'm doing something wrong. It's all making me think about what it is I'm actually supposed to be looking for. I don't want to settle, but is there a necessary bit of settling involved? Nobody's perfect, right? So if I can't see past some faults, so I keep looking, am I going to miss my prince? The line is fine. I'm afraid I'm going to mess it up.
In the past, I'd always dated guys who gave me the princess treatment. Always built me up, encouraged me, made me feel good about myself, made me stronger. So are my expectations skewed now? Should I not hold out for a guy who will love me purely and wholly and treat me like the most precious thing he's ever had in his hands?
I guess that's the man the fairy tales are trying to sell. I'm sure that in reality, I don't need constant attention... but I do need some. How much affection am I allowed to expect? How much affection do I deserve? What is the right way for a man to treat the woman he loves? How do I know?
Is love enough? I don't suppose so. It's the groundwork, I guess. The foundation. But the bricks and mortar and all, that's the verb love. The kind where you pour everything you have into it. The kind where you give up yourself and love the other person unselfishly.
What do you do, then, when the one you love doesn't really have the whole unselfish thing down? Do you walk away? Do you wait? When your head says "walk" and your heart says "but, why?", then what do you do? How do you turn on your very own heart?
Oh, heart of mine. I wish I had the answers.
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