|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||Zoot Suit Riot - Cherry poppin' Daddys|
Hard as Rock and twice as cold
Well This is Like my 5th day of not feeling well. stomach ache, headache, and just all around not feeling good. I'll meantion it just in case someone see's me nodding off, or something like that, but I make it seem like a passing cold.. but I really hurt, not to mention a cut on my leg, that dosent exactly feel the best... I only got a couple hours sleep (tops) and I feel like freezing myself in a block of ice because its so damn hot, and dont turn on the air conditioning so we can cut back on bills. On top of everything I like this one girl... its odd... but another one of my friends liked her, he had a feeling I liked herm but he asked her out, she said yes and she liked him... After hes talkin and I tell him I liked her, but dont sweat it because he's more suited for her.. blah blah blah.. Just shit so he wouldnt feel bad. I do like her... but I'm not gonna be an asshole like a couple of teh friends I had, and move in on her. they're happy, and Since I dont matter I guess that means me bein happy isnt either, but oh well, Like I say Shit happens... I'll just stick this back inside me like I do with everything, put on my smile and be nice like I always am.I think I'm just gonna be what they'd call a Lone cowboy, Just travel from town to town, living, never attached to anyone, Never bothing anyone Just a wondering soul, a leaf floating in the wind. That or just buy myself a boat and Set sail.. anywhere I could be just run, and get far away from this place I hate... the memories... I know you cant run forever, but I'd only need a lifetime. I'd really like to settle down, have a family and kids, Wouldnt mind being a desk jocky to come home to a wife, help make dinner.. it'd be nice, But Theres no way I can open myself that much... so Its gonna be Road Rebel Alex, or Sea Captain Alex... not Mr. & Mrs. Alex. The even remotely close thing to that I would have is if I were to get to move in with Jes and Ben, Ben's a cool guy, reminds me of who's I'd like to be when I'm older in a ways heh, and jes.. well she's just totally cool, I love her(like my big sistor), and I'm glad she found a guy she can be happy with. But He, with my luck It'll never happen. I know I should be in a good mood since Sarah should be back today... but I'm not.
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