And the debate rages on.
Well, the next stage of my quest to convince a portion of the internet of my sanity has officially reached the next level of debate. Finally, someone claiming to have a background in psychiatry showed up with the intent of essentially calling me insane or psychotic or schizophrenic – you pick your favorite word.
So this post will be dedicated to why I don’t have some obscure mental disorder (I’ve been accused of having schizophrenia more times than I care to count) and explaining the differences between being a schizophrenic versus being a Traveler.
Schizophrenia (def) - A term coined by Bleuler, synonymous with and replacing dementia praecox, denoting a common type of psychosis, characterized by abnormalities in perception, content of thought, and thought processes (hallucinations and delusions) and by extensive withdrawal of interest from other people and the outside world, with excessive focusing on one's own mental life. Now considered a group or spectrum of disorders rather than a single entity, with distinction sometimes made between process schizophrenia and reactive schizophrenia. The “split” personality of schizophrenia, in which individual psychic components or functions split off and become autonomous, is popularly but erroneously identified with multiple personality, in which two or more relatively complete personalities dominate by turns the psychic life of a patient.
There's the definition of schizophrenia as worded by WebMD.
Okay, the first topic I’ll choose is the part of that definition that states schizophrenia is characterized but ‘extensive withdrawl of interest from other people and the outside world.’ Let me tell everyone who reads this – that couldn’t be less true of me. My life is so busy and so full of chaos I couldn’t withdrawl if I wanted to!
I’m a full-time college student, I’m on the karate team, and I’m on call 24-7 for my modelling job (which, it so happens, involves working with people to an almost annoying extent). I run this website and am active on many others, in addition to corresponding with many, many people who have written me privately to discuss my claims. I’ll not lie and say I necessarilly like people, so to speak, but that’s more because their pettiness and shallowness is irritating to me…and that holds true of the majority of people in this world.
However, I love my life.
My career goal is to pursue acting, but I’ve had a long-standing interest in modelling and am finally getting to fulfil that dream…no matter how hard a job it is. I love being on the karate team and have many friends attending the same dojo. Back before I moved, when I was in high school, I had the honor of having many good friends…some of whom have stepped up to lend me their support in this endeavor.
I don’t spend my days off in ‘la la land,’ as it were. I’ve never been much for daydreaming or losing myself to my fantasies…it’s true what they say about daydreams: they accomplish nothing. Why would I spend my life wasting away fantasizing when I could be out there pursuing my goals?
Back when I was first diagnosed with bipolar, I read up on a lot of mental illnesses, trying to understand as much as I could to speed my treatment. Working with my psychiatrist, it became clear I wasn’t bipolar…but suffered from severe depression complicated by a thyroid disorder.
The research did more for me though.
I understand many mental illnesses for my efforts, and know schizophrenics to be far more prone to existing in their own world. In my daily life, I have to contend with the truth of who I am – a practitioner in the art of astral projection, bound to an archangel for eternity – but I don’t ‘live’ there. In fact, rarely do I need to explain myself to those around me…save the rare instances when I have to briefly establish that I’m not ‘fair game’ in the dating world.
Another key piece of information that distinguishes me from a schizophrenic. People with that disorder have their illusions about them at all times…whereas when I was learning about my gift, the training process ensured I would fail regularly.
It’s only in the last year or so that I can confidently say I am in control of this gift and able to travel at will.
Albeit schizophrenia manifests in a number of ways, one other clear distinction is that shizophrenics don’t know they’re hallucinating and if told they are, rarely choose to look into that possibility.
I’ve always been open to learning and growing, always been open to reassessing my thoughts and changing my views as I learn more of my gift and the angel I love. There was a time, early on, when I thought I may be schizophrenic – how many of these patients can you think of that thought ‘hey, maybe I’m suffering from mental illness?’ in your experience? It was only through hours of testing on the part of my psychiatrist and hours of research on my own part that we ruled that diagnosis out.
And that, is the conclusion of what I have to say on the matter, and hope that my commentary has helped rule that possibility out in the minds of those frequenting this page.
(Post a new comment)
 |
(Anonymous)
2007-11-12 13:26
(link) |
Nothing much to comment on this one; it pretty much explains itself. Oh wait, I do have a question: you mentioned you suffered from severe depression. Why is that and how did the thyroid disorder made it worse?
On a totally random note, I have to quit posting on this blurty so much. I just dreamed about you XD (M-chan)(Reply to this) (Thread) |
|
(Anonymous)
2007-11-12 15:28
(link) | |
Do the meds affect your mood or life in general? It must be awful to take so many meds on a regular basis. (M-chan) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
|
(Anonymous)
2007-11-12 19:58
(link) |
It's really good if the meds have a positive impact on you! Some people I know are struggling with all kinds of meds and aren't doing too well. I have a bipolar friend, and her pills aren't helping her too much. On the contrary, she has to change what she takes constantly, and she still has strong depressions and suicidal tendencies.
Did you ever talk about the whole medication business with the archangel? (the words medication and archangel just clash when put together in one sentence >_<) (M-chan)(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
| 
(Anonymous)
2007-11-12 17:54
(link) | |
I saw the comment that you are talking about. I dont think that the person who claimed they were a nurse or whatever it was was actually a nurse. By the way I dont you are schizophrenic. I say this because I once had a friend who was schizophrenic. What she told me about her experiance when not on the medication for her illness was nothing like what you are discribing that is happening to you. (Reply to this) (Thread) |
|
(Anonymous)
2007-11-16 19:51
(link) | |
Many people on the internet label you as nuts, insane etc. Did somebody you personally know (and have talked about Seph to) ever said those things? (M-chan) (Reply to this) (Thread) |
|
 ladybow
2007-11-16 21:37
(link) | |
I've actually been researching schizophrenia for a couple years now, and since you're using a summary of the illness to explain why it's so different from your case, I have to disagree with your points. Schizophrenia isn't that black and white, and the generalizations weren't accurate for everyone. At least half of schizophrenics know they have the disease and know they have to take their medications in order to stop delusions or other problems. Many also have fulfilling lives and are interested in a variety of things besides "lalaland". I think the kind of schizophrenia most people know of is the most extreme cases where people have no idea where they are and have lost control. In reality, there are lots of schizophrenics who, like you, have lives going on; they're intellegent; they're rational; they think about their inner conflicts and even do research for answers....they just have effects from their illness. Someone could be completely normal in every way except for the fact that they have an imaginary friend, whom they treat just the same as everybody else. In truth, I considered you were schizophrenic the first time I finished reading your journals, before I had even spoken with you about it once it was three years in the past. I don't give you the diagnosis, because I'm not a doctor, and I trust that you have had many discussions with your psychologist in order to rule it out. But in truth, the "general" symptoms of schizophrenia are not far off from what people have read about the Sephiroth case. (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| curious
(Anonymous)
2007-11-21 04:59
(link) |
I found it fascinating to read about your astral projections and meeting Sephiroth. Honestly, I used to think you were either hallucinating or making it up, but you have me mostly convinced that you're not lying now. I believe in God and angels, though it is kinda a stretch to believe that Sephiroth, an archangel who looks like the video game character, exists, but I remember reading about you saying that you read an interview that Nomura gave on his character design techniques and how the name/image for Seph came to him in a dream. I was wondering if you could expand on that point a bit. Does the archangel Sephiroth look exactly like the game character? Hair length, bangs, eye color, ect? I'm also wondering if you could tell me about your conversations with other projectors and their stories, and if the angels they meet look like game or anime characters.
Thanks in advance,
-Adria (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| Re: curious
(Anonymous)
2007-11-21 22:36
(link) |
Thanks very much for replying. :) I really look forward to your answers!
-Adria(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
|
(Anonymous)
2007-11-25 08:09
(link) | |
Can't wait for it. Promises to be interesting. And that piece of information about Nomura actually dreaming the character and its name... unbelievable. I had no idea about this, and I thought I knew all there is to know about it. (M-chan) (Reply to this) (Thread) |
(Post a new comment)
|
