| Current mood: |  infuriated |
| Current music: | Senses Fail - Bloody Romance |
I'm left waiting....
Today ended like a lot of fridays have recently. I'll explain in a little bit. 1st, i came in late again. As usual. Nothin in first. I was sore as hell today from working out. Especially my left shoulder and arm.
HR, nothin there. Callie told me some more of the drama she seems to attract. I feel bad for her cause she doesn't cause it, she's more mature than it, yet it all comes to her. Haha. I do feel bad for her. She's cool as hell too. She's the other one of my best girl friends.
Sarah was lookin pretty hot today. I saw her after HR. I think that's the only time i saw her today besides out at the parking lot. Oh, and after 4th. 3rd came. Nothin. Ms. Tomassi came in and talked to our teacher, or gossipped, for the whole class period. An hour and a half. Damn. We watched some documentary on some dumb ass guys who went on a crime spree through 6 states.
4th, nothin there. Waking up so early to do sprints has worn me out gradually this week. It reached its pinnacle today. I was dead tired in 4th. I started napping, but i couldn't fall asleep cause i had to at least listen to the lesson(i can nap and listen, its a wonderful thing). So i started napping and i started feeling like i was driving drunk, and since i was half asleep, i could see myself in a car for a split second. But because i was also half-awake, i wasn't opening my eyes and i couldn't really envision the thoughts. So i was driving drunk with my eyes closed, and i told myself i had to open them, but i was too tired to do so. So i was goin of the road and sleeping. Then i got and just shook it of. Weird
Lunch, nothin special. Skinner went out late to get some chicken tenders from the ghetto line. He almost got ripped apart. Some black girl punched him in the face and some guy was goin to beat his ass if he wouldn't accept the money to buy him some cookies. He came back lookin like he had gone through hell, in the words of Brain Pautler. I love that man. Then we started talkin about we should go out there one day wearing KKK masks. And i mentioned we should wear a shirt with a jacket over it, and when we get to the front of the line, say something like its getting hot out here. Take off our jackets and on the back in big red letters it should say something like "KKK Kill NIGGERS." Something to that affect. Its suicide, but it would all be done in the sake of comedy.
5th, nothin there. I fell off a rolling chair. I went to side kick some girl at an angle, and the twisting i was doin plus the angle i was at....left me falling off my chair spinning in midair. It was tight. Ms. Tomassi was cracking up at me. And most of the class laughed.*sigh* Oh well. That Venezualan girl is pretty hot. Sh'e's like one of the spanish girls you see on tv, the hot ones, not the nasty ghetto ones. She kind of looks brazilian too.
Well, on the Karyn issue. I feel deprived today. Like i'm left waiting. I saw her after HR, we kind of met eyes, but i was doin and sayin something so i couldn't say hi. After 3rd, she was walking with Shae, and she looked kind of sad, or tired, or both. She kept lookin at the ground. She finally looked up and gave me a small forced smile. I don't what happened, but she was either mad or tired. I looked at Shae after i said hi to Karyn and her eyes were all big, like if she was mad at what i had just done or couldn't believe what i just had done. Fuck her... Shae doesn't like the fact that i like Karyn. Probably for several reasons, but one i think is cause i'm putting Karyn in an odd situation by liking her (considering that Karyn likes me in return). She was also behind me walking up the stairs, right behind me and didn't say one word. I found that awkward. That troubled me. I also was pretty close to her when we walked out to the parking lot. And i passed by her car and when she was putting stuff in her trunk and when we were almost parallel she looked at me and said hey. Like she couldn't let the weekend come with out saying something. Maybe i'm over analyzing. She looked pretty somber the whole day. As she has for a while now.
Well, i went grocery shoppin when i got home. And as i was gettin to Publix, i thought, how weird would it be for her to be here. Well, i parked, and i stepped out of the car, started heading torwards Publix and guess what. In the lane next to me, her, Rangel, and a friend of his was walking torwards Rangel's car. Coincidently enough. As soon as i looked over we caught eyes, but realizing who she was with, i looked dead on and ignored them. When we were parallel i looked over and Rangel turned his head straight. I know he was lookin at me. I imagined all of the possible things said at that moment. I was infuriated. Nothin i could do now. I guess that's why she didn't say anything to me when walkin up the stairs, despite the fact that we were literally a step away from each other. Any other situation and she would've said hey. Maybe i'm over analyzing again.
One more thing to add. Rangel's in a frat. So he doesn't come down to see her that often. Why would he bring a friend down. That means that there won't be much time for him and her. To me it seems like he really doesn't care that much anymore. To bring a friend when you go to see your girlfriend, which you visity every few weekends. Whatever, i don't know what to think anymore. I'm pissed beyond belief.
Like i mentioned in an earlier posts, i can't describe all my feelings with the current mood thing, so today i feel: crappy, crushed, depressed, enraged, frustrated, gloomy, irritated, melancholy, jealous, morose, pessimistic, restless, stressed, but mostly, just pissed at why they're still together. And sometimes it seems like all those hints she dropped, and all the things she's done, didn't mean shit. Life sucks.....peace
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