The Lord does give-The Lord does take (scanningpink) wrote, @ 2003-05-07 21:28:00

Current mood:	sad
Current music:	Pete Yorn - Lose You

Robbie and his drama.
Hmmm. Today just gets worse and worse. I'm guessing I probably should put this entry as 'private' but, I would only do that because I don't want Robbie to see it. But, I'm sure he'd find a way to see it anyway (like he did with my other ones).

Well, the whole stupid Gabriel thing is bothering me. No, I'm not jealous, so all of you get that out of your minds. Robbie didn't even want to talk to me today. The only time he remotely seemed like he did was second hour. And that's probably only because I was sitting behind him. At lunch, he walked around with Gabriel. The only time he said a word to me then was he mouthed "what's wrong?" Yeah. Great. Didn't even come over to find out what was really wrong. By the way, it wasn't the fact that he was walking with Gabriel. Then, I saw him before sixth hour. I went up to him and tried to talk to him. But, he said he had to go the other way and then just started walking around and talking to Janelle. THEN, I called him around 3:30 because I knew he wouldn't dare want to call me! And he said he'd call me back. He never did. So, I called again around 8:30 or something. He said he'd call back after he got a shower. He still hasn't called back and it's 9:15. Looks like I'm out of the picture. You know. I'm supposedly his best friend. Isn't your best friend supposed to come before some guy you just met a couple of days ago? Hmmm. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being selfish or whatever again. I don't know. I wouldn't do that to him if I were to go out with someone. I'd still call him a lot and talk to him at school. Guess it's not the same for him. :(

Some good friend I am. That one of my best friends picks to talk to some guy over me. Does that make me the bad friend or him? Could I be the one that made him not want to talk to me? Or is he just being mean or whatever you want to call it? I don't know.

And, I guess Jesse is the only one who understands what's going on here. She went through this before. And Robbie, weren't you the one saying that Dan was an asshole for doing that to Jesse? You know, just pretty much ignoring her or whatever? Hmmm. I don't know.

I know you don't want to talk to me. And I know you get like this about ever guy you like. You know, the whole thing where you go on and on and on about how great they are and all that good stuff. So, I'll just wait 'til you see something remotely good in me and feel that you would want to talk to me again before I go calling you anymore. I don't want to be up your ass or anything by calling you all the time. I know you wouldn't want that either. No one would. I just want to talk though. I mean, come on Robbie. Don't you care the least bit that I'm upset? Not even about this. But, even Mike could notice right away that something was wrong. You don't seem to care about me at all. You won't call back. You don't care that I'm sad. Nothing. You're too wrapped up in Gabriel to see any of it. I hope that's what it is anyway.

And you know, Robbie, when I told you that the reason I called last night was because I needed to talk to you about something and all you could say back was "fuck you." That hurt. I seriously needed to talk to someone and all you can do is flick me off and yell "fuck you" back.

I know, you're probably going to be mad at me for this or whatever. But, don't talk to me if you don't want. Because I know that's probably what you're going to do is not talk to me because of this. Thanks.

Remember, you said it back that you wouldn't just kick me out of the way if you started going out with someone else. I understand if you do, because that's just you to get totally infactuated with the person you like. But, you could at least show a little concern.

I know I may be going to far with this, but it's just the way I feel and I can't help the way I feel.

--End Robbie Message-- ....heh.

[jess]

who is this bitch? (Anonymous) 2003-05-07 22:27 (link)

well my opinion is that u trash this friend, if he isnt caring enough to atleast call u back? then what kinda friend is he? and u say hes ur bestfriend sorry to tell u this stranger but best friends dont do that they dont kick each other to the curb for a week or w/e for some guy personally i wouldnt let that happen to me.... u must really like this friend of urs! it bad enough thats he is ignoring u but he is mad for no reason? a friend is supposed to show they care and he doesnt.....! u should express the way u feel, i guess he may say hes a friend.......... u dont need that>? Sincerely, -David- (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: who is this bitch? scanningpink 2003-05-08 14:46 (link)
	Whoa Whoa. Slow down here. Before you start commenting on my life here, maybe I should get to know you. Email me: killermahari@hotmail.com [jess] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

learn something. futrebrdwaystar 2003-05-08 16:00 (link)

okay jess. whatever. and whoever this "david" fucker is you need to shut the fuck up. you DONT know me. and to jess. i do have reasons to be mad at you. and you know them, but see what you "accidently" do is not post them. oh yea and that was sarcastic. this is stupid. you are ALWAYS upset with something im doing and you dont know how much stress you put me thru. i fucking like him alot and for me to hang out with him for like two days? yes you are selfish, im sorry thats all to put it. i know damn well that you are trying to make me feel guilty with this entry, because thats one of your mind games. making me feel guilty so i feel bad enough and i crawl back to you. not this time. you have your best friends mike, mike, and jesse, and everyone. im doing fine. and i dont have to put up with mind games. and like i said before: you are ALWAYS upset at me for something. ALWAYS. and i constantly have to show you attention or you freak out and say im ignoring you, and now you know why im tired of this. i dont have to be constantly stressed out over thinking that im "ignoring" you. why dont you go have some more conversations with your mom about me being "annoying" well you WONT have to deal with that anymore. i DONT care what anybody thinks of this comment, you call can fuck yourselves up the ass. okay. thank you >>Robbie (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: learn something. scanningpink 2003-05-08 19:33 (link)

hey. you don't understand robbie. i'm not trying to make you feel bad. i'm not trying to make you feel guilty. i'm just not. i'm not playing mind games with you. but, all you can do is think i am. i'm trying to tell you the truth. you know, how i feel. i don't think it's right for you to only criticize me on that. to think i'm just trying to make you feel bad. i'm not trying to like con you back into wanting to be my friend, but i just want you to talk to me. i know you want to talk to gabriel all the time, i understand. that's fine with me. i just don't see why i need to be completely kicked out of the picture. i don't get it. i wouldn't do that to you. you can't take me for being a good person for one second can you? i'm trying this time robbie. and you don't see that. i just want you to be there for me. that's it. i'm not expecting some great change. just maybe one phone call or something. and i'm not trying to 'con' you back into wanting to talk to me. i just want you to still want to be my friend. without me trying to make you feel bad. i'm not doing any of this to make you feel bad. it's just how i feel. i'm sorry. it's just a shock when the person you talk to everyday, who calls you like 4-5 times a day...decides that they don't want to call you anymore. it's just having no one to talk to anymore. you have no clue. i don't mean to be selfish. i don't want you to hate me. i don't want you to be mad at me. i love you, robbie. [jess] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)