|Current mood:|| contemplative|
|Current music:||Chevelle - The Red|
Well, here it is. The next day. Check the last entry, you'll find Eric somehow popped back up on my Buddy List. The evidence is somewhat clearer now, and I'm quite thankful... even though it's only a bit less murky than before. The clearing up was from a message he left me. Right now im in debate as to whether this message should stay a private one betweer two people, or if I should post it where I might be able to get an opinion. Why would I need an opinion? The message is not very long... in fact, its probably a couple of lines in Word. This message gives insight in explicitly told things, and leaves me even more mystery than before on others. There were the explicits...
1. Eric was not ignoring me.
2. He isn't ready to talk.
3. Mad at me, doesn't know why.
4. No strength to work with problems.
5. I *WAS* off his list...
As for the cryptic hints and allusions... I have some idea of what to think... I know that at least one of them has to be wrong, but it will be listed.
1. Says to talk to Neil about some things, and that relations will turn bad between them if not done.
Well... last time I checked, Eric and Neil had no relations. Hell, I know Eric was invited over twice on Neil's last visit up... but I can't remember if he ever came. I also know that it was an uphill battle for a certain person to make him put Neil on his Buddy List. I'd also like to state that I'm not the only one off the list. I think Neil is too.
2. Says that the Neil thing isn't the problem between me and Laura, says he's sure we used the time to talk to each other.
...So many things in this message were probably meant to test me. Yes, I have talked to her. When I can't talk to him, she is the next best thing... the only other person I know that would talk to him on a regular basis. She's also a cool person to talk to, and I really don't have enough of those. Hell, she even got one of my crypticly impossible jokes. Nobody EVER gets my wierd jokes... Further, he *DID* lie to her about attempting to contact me. If he's not ready to talk to me, and even waited for me to go away and idle to give me a message (proably so I wouldn't reply), then he wouldn't have attempted a call. I know him, he's not the kind to change his mind on a topic such as this like that.
Now, for new reasoning. He says he's mad, and that he doesn't know why. One simple remark at that. BULLSHIT. That's like the comment a guy would usually use to say he loved his girlfriend (Words cannot express how much I love you). Its a statement made to dodge the situation so that he doesn't have to deal with it right now... at least that's what I gather from it. He also says he doesn't have the strength to work shit out. I don't exactly know why not, as this is now becoming a big issue with me. I can say something else about it. I am going back to school Monday, I am still working in my off days, I have other things and problems to deal with too. Hell, when I went to pay my tuition Friday, I met someone from my past that I used to have strong feelings for and now she is in my head again, taunting me with her wiles and beautiful smile. If I have the strength through all that, even through having to go car searching on a particularly crappy market, then he should have the strength to work it out.
I have other things to say, but I won't make light of them until he settles these issues with me. Until next time.... goodbye.
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