|Current music:||Marvins Room by Drake....|
Here we go again...once again.
When I want to write.
I think of you
But tonight I'm not going to turn to you and your memories.
In a way I have moved on and I know its been two months since I last wrote about you
But like I said 'in a way' I have.
I no longer think of you when I lay my head down
I do though, when I am drunk..
But that's where our memories start
In a drunkeness blur ....
My job consumes my life
And I don't worry about my love life
And the nonexistent part of it.
You could say I am no longer in a hurry to run down that isle
and pop a little one out...
That's not my life right now
Even though everyone around me seems to doing that.
My life consists of happy memories and fun times
And I enjoy that
I secretly stalk you through facebook..
But not intentionally...
You always pop up on my newsfeed and i always seem to look further into it
No status' ..no. thats not your style
Pictures which say a million words
Last night was your good friends wedding reception
And your sister took a few pictures
and you seemed to be in every single one. in the backround
But of course I'm the only one that would notice such a thing
You looked unhappy. And I don't wish that but maybe I do
I want to know that she doesn't make you as happy as I did
That you only light up for me when you see me not her
But again, who am i kidding...
I know better.
You say you are a happy, why should I question a thing
Kayla, she knows best..says I need to stop talking to you
That it's useless and just showing that I'm a crazy
But I can not...not let myself do that.
I have to hear from you even though you aren't saying I miss you
Or i need you but your are saying the opposite.. and breaking my heart
But me..the broken hearted one hears you saying something else.
I only cry when I'm a drunken mess...
Because I drive home alone
And call me insane but I always look for your truck in my drive way when I get home
But it's never there..I wish it was.
When will I get over this pain
And start realizing you're not coming back home to me.
I hope soon because its been a total of ten months and I'm still the same as the first day.
A mess.. emotional mess.
you text me when shes not around...stop doing that
But I think it would kill me if you did.
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