Danielle Nicole (ruthlessone20) wrote, @ 2012-04-22 23:47:00

The Birthday Blues
Here I go again,
Drowning my sorrows into writing
Instead of drinking another night away.
My birthday is Monday..
And it starts making you think about life.
Like who would even care if I was gone?
Or do people really like me or do they just tolerate me
Of course this is really deep stuff because I'm just in that kind of mood...
Your birthday signifies how many people do care about you....
Or how many people could give a shit less about you..
This has to be my most depressing birtbday yet to life...
No boyfriend, barely a best friend.
Your birthday just shows you how lonely you really are in life..
And I hate it.
I absolutely hate my birthday
I used to wait for it like Christmas and get really excited about it
Now I wish there wasn't such a thing as a birthday

I don't want to realize how lonely I really am in this world
That really all I have is my cat and my dog...
That I really don't have happiness and all I do is work my life away.
As tears stream down my face
I wonder whats the point of this life of mine
How many hearts have I really touched
and really why the fuck am I so alone
I always go back to that but
What I breathe and live for is love
and I don't have that anywhere in my life....
So whats the point of me breathing
and being this so called awful life.

I hate that I think this way
And I read this on someone else's blog
I would just say they wanted attention
But I'm not begging for attention because only a select few know about this
And only one person that I last knew read it
And thats Chris Dolbeare..
ha but hey if you are reading this, don't mind me.
I'm just depressed tonight and trying to drown out my own sorrows.
You can call it the birthday blues if you want...

We all put smiles on our faces and pretend we are just fine
But deep down we aren't even close to being okay....