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every star that i see is brighter than the last (roughxdraft) wrote,
@ 2004-03-25 00:10:00
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    i am unworthy of everything
    of happiness
    of sleep
    of people caring for me
    of being alive

    i hate being such a burden
    i hate people who create problems just for attention
    i hate people who say they dont care what other people say, then go and make a big deal to fit into the "goth loner"clique and say im original
    i hate being alive and dealing with things
    i hate having spare time to think, becuase i only think about the worst
    i hate making so many mistakes
    i hate dealing with everything
    i hate myself
    i hate my constant revulsions
    i hate miami beach drivers

    in a way, im like a volcano. everything is just kept inside until there is just too much in there and it erupts. all the pain just eats at me until the point where i need to get everything out in feeble attempts to feel better. i put up a good act for a while; perhaps thats why it has been mentioned that im faking this for attention. sure thing. i guess my mom was right when she said i would make a good actress. nobody had the slightest idea.

    im sick of it all. i wish i could feel better or just die. somethings gotta give.

    and thanks janaye for your kind words tonight :D thanks for caring so much.

(Post a new comment)

2004-03-29 00:49 (link)
yo...that makes me sad. I know what it's like to feel that way. I know exactly. Just, you gotta wait things out and look for the good things...people always have friends whether they know it or not. Hope things get better.

Keep kicking ass.

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2004-03-29 19:35 (link)

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