I've been thinking a lot since I saw that girl in the computer lab. Why didn't I talk to her? I know the real reason why. Rejection. It's not even the fear of rejection anymore. Now it's an assumption. The feeling of 'why should I even bother? I know how it's going to turn out.' Ever since Jessica not returning my calls I've been looking at girls differently. I look at them and just imagine once again being told that they don't want to go out with me, but they really want to be friends. Great, a sympathy friend. They all have the same look of guilt, like they feel bad about what they're doing. Jessica wasn't the catalyst. She was the last living leaf on a tree that died long ago. The last leaf finally fell to the ground.
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