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XxXLoserChickXxX (riot_girl_04) wrote,
@ 2003-11-27 13:45:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Add to Topic Directory  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry

    Current mood: pissed off
    Current music:Until I Met You-Mest

    FUCK!
    I just found out sumthing that really pisses me off bout 2 ppl who might remian nameless. If they r sumwhat smart they can figure it out. They came 2 ,what I thought was 2 c me and go 2 a concert, but really was 2 USE me n have SEX in MY HOUSE. They used me. Being used by 2 people that I cared 4 is a great feeling.Lets celebrate. *Shots self* They wouldnt care if I was dead er not. They would just come back 2 my house n have sex! I cant believe that I didnt get it. When Shane asked fer them 2 have their own room, when they held hands, when they kissed NOPE I DIDNT GET IT. So im slow. They shouldnt have used me neways. With the money i had before i used it 4 them 2 come i could have went to see Karina, Tobey and Lynard n i cud have seen my future husband again.

    Thxxx Shauna and Shane u really taught me sumthing.......not 2 trust u 2 again



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....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
imsinful
2003-11-29 17:54 (link)
Kelly do you actually believe all the shit you mention in this Journal, Honestly? Or was it Lanyard or someone else who's obviously full of shit who mentioned this to you?
Do you want me to start from the very beginning? When Shane, Sharon, You and I were all planning this trip for almost 2 months we all discussed the rooms and sleep arrangements. When Shane mentioned that he wanted to Share a room with me, I asked if it was all right to but you and Sharon. Neither of you said anything but "If that's what you want." I knew you felt uncomfortable though having your friends who's a couple sleeping together in a room in your house, so I decided to share a room with you, then Shane would have felt left out so we decided to share one room since there was two air bed which were both full size. We later made the plan to stay up all night and let Shane fall asleep so we can then pull a prank on him for being the first to have been asleep. We agreed to that sleep arrangement and kept it as that.
Well, When we got there to your house, we went walk then went to the Navy pier and came back to your house and it was time for us to go to bed, you didn't bother staying in the room or asking me to sleep with you. You just left. So what was I to think? When we woke up your Mom said "My daughter doesn't deserve this" what was Shane and I to think, we just woke up and we both thought showing affection was a normal thing for a couple to do. Hell, those 3 days, I didn't even show Shane the same affection as he was showing me because the fact that I realized you were sorta unhappy about it. The second night after the concert and when we came back home, you once again didn't bother asking to sleep with us or any of us to share a room with you. You just got up and left. The sex wasn't even planned. We didn't call each other before the trip or anything and said "Hey! Want to take the offer Sharon and Kelly offering us to go to Chicago and have sex!" No, That just stupid. Sorry but it is. If I ONLY wanted sex and Shane I would have went to California instead of Chicago, Don't you think? I wanted to take that time to meet the guy I love, My sister, and my online Mommy. I thought it would have been the perfect trip/vacation. But I guess I thought wrong. If you felt uncomfortable with any of the things Shane and I were doing you or your Mom could have easily spoken about it and things would have changed. No-one said or did anything though. If its such a big problem that you spent oh so much money on me going there and if it was such a big fuckin mistake then when I get a job and making decent money I'll fucking pay you back for the ticket and whatever the fuck else. The you can go meet Karina, Tobey, Lynard and your "Future" husband. This is fucking bullshit though, I don't know why I'm doing it but I will just to fucking make you happy.
Oh we should also discuss what happened when we came home from Chicago, now should we?
Do you recall, telling me stuff about Shane? I broke up with him, then later on that night I found out you lost respect for me in Chicago because YOU were jealous and YOU wanted him? I could have easily gotten back with him but I didn't, Do you recall why?! Because I didn't want to hurt YOU! I rather have just been friends with the guy I love and watch him love someone else, so My "Sister" wouldn't have felt the way she has. So now does Shane and I using you for sex really make any sense? No. This recall have proven it to be even more bullshit than ever.
Maybe this entry has something to do with that recap. I wonder.
By the way, Lynard is a backstabbing lying son of a bitch. He likes coming between two people to make himself feel better. He also likes feeding shit to peoples minds for the same fucking reason. To make HIMSELF feel better. He hates drama so much but yet he's the one who starts it. {Which reminds me of some other people I know.} You can ask, Shane and Tobey I'm sure they'll agree. Wait, I know.
Oh wait, Didn't you once hate Lynard? I'm sure it was for that same exact reason!
Well, I hope you have a great life. Bye. ^_^

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: ....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
imsinful
2003-11-29 18:02 (link)
My bad..I made a few mistakes. Let me correct them for those who canty figure them out.
Or was it **Lynard** or someone else who's obviously full of shit who mentioned this to you? {Oh geesh, I spelt the bastard's name wrong}
**Then** you can go meet Karina, Tobey, Lynard and your "Future" husband.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
imsinful
2003-11-29 18:04 (link)
And I made another one...
Let me correct them for those who **cant** figure them out.

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Re: ....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
riot_girl_04
2003-11-29 18:34 (link)
Listen first off I told u that i had a crush on Shane because i felt i could talk to no one else.I wasnt and never will be fuckin jealous of u two. I dont even kno why i said anything.Neways I soon told u not to worry about it because it was a stupid little crush and i didnt want you two to break up. When u broke up with him because of what i said i felt horrible and when u didnt get back together when i told u not to worry bout the stupid little crush u didnt listen. So u really cant blame me for that.
Secondly Lynard had nothing to do with nothing and i dont recall ever hating him.
Also I really didnt appreciate u guys having sex in my house. That makes me think the whole trip was a chance 4 u two to meet. You wanna kno why i didnt say how i felt? BEcause i was the third wheel. I wasnt needed. You had each other and thats all that mattered. When Pat came 2 the concert with us i was really happy i had someone i knew was my friend.
You kno how it feels to be left out by two people u cared about? Everytime i looked at u two u were kissing and i would just stand there. Im not one to ruin fun for people. You wanted to make out hell go ahead i wasnt about to say anything. My mom and I arent people to be rude. We knew u were a couple and let u sleep 2gether, on the count i didnt want to hear bout how u to couldnt sleep together. I didnt want to leave anyone out, by doing that seems like it stabbed me in the back.
U might call me attention craving and im pissed because u didnt pay attention 2 me. No. I am pissed because fer 1 u had sex in my house and fer 2 u made me feel so left out. I was at the point i knew u guys werent here to see me. Well before u guys even got here i knew Shane wasnt coming for the concert or to see me. He just knew that we always planned to go to a GC concert so he thought it was a chance to meet u. Even tho we werent sure u were coming at first. So he talked u into it and bam it happened. You i really thought was coming to see me and to go to the concert. But as the time got closer i read sum stuff and had a feeling that it was more to see Shane. Then when u guys were together i knew it wasnt to see me or the concert and felt used. O well dun matter now. Its over. Hope u and Shane have a good life 2gether

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Re: ....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
imsinful
2003-11-29 19:25 (link)
I'm glad you felt like you could talk to me about having a crush on Shane and whatever else, but I didnt get back with him because I cared about hurting you more. I thought if I went back with Shane you would have felt the same. So fucking sorry.
I understand what you are saying but if we didnt want to see you nor your Mom do you know how easy it would have been for Shane and I just to trade in our tickets at the air port to get another ticket back to Louisiana or California. I'm not saying it was wrong nor right. I'm just saying and proven my point we didnt go there just to be with each other and use you and your home for sex. Thats bullshit.
I didnt want to go to Chicago at first because I didnt want you nor your Mom spending that much money on me. I knew something like this would had happened sooner or later and its not even worth it but then You, Shane and Your Mom kept asking and offering, I also found out your Mom birthday was the day of the concert, then your Mom said it would have made you happy so of course I would but I guess she was wrong.
Yeah, but whatever..Peace!

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Re: ....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
riot_girl_04
2003-11-29 22:22 (link)
I dun care bout none of that. Thats how i felt. I didnt say it was right. A journal is to write how i feel right? and Thats what i did. I felt u guys used me so im stickin with that feeling.

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Re: ....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
spyderman
2003-11-30 23:11 (link)
Wow. You two really got into it. Kelley, obviously, you didn't come to this conclusion yourself, because you aren't the kind of suspicious mind that would have thought that... I always thought you were a rather rational person. I think that there is only one person who could have led you to this conclusion... as Shauna mentioned, that would be Lynard. In any case, I did not go to Chicago to have sex with Shauna. I wanted a room with Shauna so that I could hold her and fall asleep with her... I had no intention of having sex with her when we planned this out... in fact I was under the impression that we would all be sharing a room. Actually, the sleeping plans changed so many times that I had no idea what to really expect. Kelley, I went there to meet Shauna, that's true. However, I also went there to meet you, and Sharon. You're right about one thing though, I didn't go there for the concert, I went there to meet you guys. I thought we had a great time together... I guess you didn't? Well you certainly never expressed these feelings of yours to me. I guess they didn't exist until now 8-|. Also, that's bullshit about letting us sleep together, because we wouldn't have said a damn thing if you guys had decided that it was inappropriate for Shauna and I to sleep together. Anyways... if you can't trust us, there isn't a damn thing I can do about it... You have to learn to trust for yourself. I don't know if I made a point or not here...? Anyways... :)>-

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Re: ....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
riot_girl_04
2003-12-01 21:49 (link)
Just drop it already im sick of talking bout it. Yes i had a good time, but when i found out what it took for me to have a good time i wasnt so happy bout it. Neways just stop bringing it up ok. Its over n theres nothing we can do bout it now.

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Re: ....Let's all recap and discuss, Shall we?....
riot_girl_04
2003-12-01 22:54 (link)
I also wanted to add Lynard had nothing to do with anything. Sure i talked to him but it dun mean he told me what to think. May seem surprising but i do have a brain. I can think for myself. Cuz i did put the pieces together to figure this out n i knew u just called me clueless n cant think fer myself. Well think that i dun give a shit no more. And my mom DID say she didnt want u 2 sleeping 2gether. n she also threw hints. like when she said "My daughter dun deserve this" n"My husband doesnt think u 2 sleeping together is a good idea". But u guys didnt get it so we both didnt say nething else bout it. But whatever. Have a nice life.

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oh no.. LOOK OUT.. its......... TOBEY"S OPINION!!! woohoo!
xgonetoofarx
2003-12-01 22:46 (link)
ok well mofos.. i do think .. that shane and shauna.. went to meet you kelly.. but of course.. they are a couple.. they are going to show their.. passion toward eachother... Kelly.. I know that them having sex in yer house .. bothers you.. .. but do you honestly think it was planned? .. I really don't think Shane planned to fuck Shauna.... we talked about alot of things.. and fucking her didn't even come up really.. i don't think.. Kelly.. you can't be mad at them forever ... they can't take it back..it already happened.. and they didn't know it bothered you.. yanno? I could see why it bothered you.. but understand.. they came to see you too.. they didn't use you.. .. lets all prevent stuff like this from happening again!.. or i'll have to shoot myself and give you the gun. um.. nvm i'd be dead.. ok nvm! ------------------------------ ToBeY

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Re: oh no.. LOOK OUT.. its......... TOBEY"S OPINION!!! woohoo!
riot_girl_04
2003-12-02 22:04 (link)
Tobey i really do respect yer opinion but i think ima stick to my feeling on this. No matter what no one says im always gonna feel this way.

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