| Current mood: | contemplative |
| Current music: | None |
Last day at home...
For at least a week and a half. Leaving tomorrow morning for New York City...from which my next journey will be the one I've been looking forward to for over a year. It's finally almost time...early Monday morning I will be boarding a plane bound for Salt Lake City, and from there I will take another to Boise, Idaho. Waiting at the Boise airport will be the love of my life, Tiffany...I will finally see her in person.
I guess I am starting to get nervous, but oddly it's not about meeting her. I am excited about that, and I can't wait. I love her with all my heart, and all that I've wanted to do since I met her was to be able to talk to her in person, to give her a hug. I know things will work out between us, even if they are awkward at first.
What I am getting nervous about...is getting there. I was supposed to have a government issued photo ID to pick up my boarding pass at the airport. That's not going to be here in time. Why? Cause the DMV is slow as all hell, and for some reason it takes them TWO WEEKS to send an ID. We called the airline...and they said a school-issued photo ID and a birth certificate or social security card would be enough. I am hoping it will be, because my luck in the past sees things like that not working out. We of the Freund clan consider ourselves cursed with bad luck.
I don't know how it will be once I get there...of course I am a bit nervous about that too, though I'm sure that feeling will grow some in the coming days. I wonder how it will be to finally witness her beauty in person...will I be able to speak? Will I be too shy? Will she be too shy? I've never been too good at talking to girls, but I suppose that the voice chats and phone calls we've shared can serve as a sign that we will be able to talk comfortably to each other...though I don't know if her mom's presence at the airport will initially help that.
That gets into another aspect of it...her family. I love Tiffany, I really do, and I have sacrificed gifts for Christmas and my birthday in order to save enough money to go see her. I don't care about them, all I want is to be with her in person. It's all I want. I want to make a good impression on her family, to show them I'm not some punk New Yorker or an internet stalker or whatever. But I will be uncomfortable staying at her house, as though I am intruding in her family's space. It will be awkward for me, but we shouldn't be spending too much time with them I guess...
Just as Tiff is scared about what I will think of her, I am scared of what she will think of me. I hope that I can be everything to her in person that I am online, that both of us will be able to overcome the shyness and awkwardness and talk as easily in person as we do online. I have confidence that it will work out that way. I don't act like another person or hide myself when I talk to her online or on the phone, but I know that won't come as easily in person. Hopefully we can help each other get passed that, and our relationship will be stronger than ever.
This is going to be the biggest week of my life. I can only hope that everything works out so I get there okay. And yes Tiff, this was mostly for you. You are pretty much the only person who cares to read it, and I started this before you came online hehe...know that I love you, and that love will only grow when I step off that plane and see you for the first time through my own eyes and not a picture on a computer.
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