PUnK PiXiE (ransom_worthy) wrote, @ 2003-04-22 22:10:00

Current mood:	sucidial
Current music:	Desperado: Clint Black

~*~I'm killing myself from the inside out~*~
Everyone that ever reads this,

I've got a lot to get off my chest, so I'm just going to do it here. I hope you read this. I hope you comment. I hope this makes you have some idea or feeling in your head or in your heart. So here goes.
~

I know that you don't understand how I feel or how I think right now. I know that you don't get that. I don't ask you to. I just want you to please, please, PLEASE realize that right now it's hard for me to listen to your problems, or have advice, or be there for you as much as I usually am. I know that's my job. I know it's what I do best. I know you need me. I know, I really do. And I'll try, I really will. But, I can only do so much, and right now that's not much.

I'm watching my life fall apart. I've said that before I know. But right now I'm watching everything crumble, and get torn down and I can't do anything about it. I'm not strong enough to pick them up and rebuild by myself. I can't lose someone, and watch them fade away. I don't know how to do that. I know that you guys dont understand this situtation, or why or how this is hard. And I'm sorry that I don't know the words to use to explain it.

Right now, though I am emotionally void. I've built a wall, and built it around me and my problems and I've made it so I'm keeping you out. Sure I need you, more than anything. But I won't force the things I'm going through on you. I wouldn't and couldn't and don't know how nor would do that.

So what I ask of you is:

Please try and help me. Be okay. I cant do this alone. I'm drowning and I dont know how to swim and I'm not strong enough. Please save me. God knows, someone has to save me.

My song for today..is my owwie song because I need one..and e're one needs to see it..so yeah


Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don' you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat (hurt) you if she's able
You know the queen of heats is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no youger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're loosin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late



And yes..Vannah..I realize..ur probably the only one who got that.

ecks_tream 2003-04-29 03:13 (link)

I beg to differ on knowing what your going through. I may not know how you feel, but i do know "how" it feels. You asked for help............i'll help if you need help, or even want my help for that matter. I'll do what i can, however i can, but i am here if you need an ear. i know you don't know me............i don't know you. So we seem to be on even grounds with each other. Some people say its easier talking to someone they don't know. Maybe its 'cuz there is no judgment, atleast not with me.................i'm here (Reply to this) (Thread)

	ransom_worthy 2003-04-30 22:39 (link)
	Thank you. I really appreciate it, and the offer works both ways. If you need to talk I'm always here and I can listen and help you if you want. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ecks_tream 2003-05-01 00:30 (link)
	I offer the same to you also, like i said...i'm here if you do need an ear. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)