PUnK PiXiE (ransom_worthy) wrote, @ 2003-04-14 00:24:00

Current mood:	hurt
Current music:	Overjoyed: Charles Grigsby

~*~ I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just A Little Unwell~*~
I'm so sick of my life. I'm don't mean to complain, but I really feel like I should say that.

Most of you know me pretty well. You know how I am, and how I feel about things. And that I really don't have much of, if any self esteem. And all he does is push me and push me and bring me down even more. Why? I don't want to hear that I'm fat or ugly or stupid everyday in my life. I can't handle that. But I have to when all Dad does is make me feel like I'm not good enough. How could you be so stupid? Your putting on a little weight. Everyday. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. How am I ever going to feel like I'm good enough for anyone when I know now that I'm not.


Just once in my life, I want to feel like I'm okay. Like I'm a good person. Like I deserve happiness and good things. I deserve to feel loved. I do right? I mean I guess I do. Everyone does. So I guess that includes me.



Over time
I've been building my castle of love
Just for two
Though you never knew you were my reason

I've gone much too far
For you now to say
That I've got to throw
My castle away

Over dreams
I have picked out a perfect come true
Though you never knew it was of you I've been dreaming

The sandman has come
From too far away
For you to say
Come back some other day

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed
Over loved
Over me

Over hearts
I have painfully turned every stone
Just to find
I had found what I've
searched to discover

I've come much too far
For me now to find
The love that I sought
Can never be mine

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed
Over loved
Over me

And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
Overjoyed
Over loved
Over you

Over you...


That songs been going through my head all day. Yeah. For good reason. Yeah. That's all I really feel like saying,

I wish I knew where my knife is. Fuck my month and two weeks. Fuck it It doesnt matter anymore

hypermonkey2103 2003-04-14 01:04 (link)

Tonia, You are not ugly, stupid, or fat. I don't know why he says that, he's a jerk. I am sorry he says those things. They aren't true. You are a wonderful person. I wish you felt like you were and I'm very very sad that you don't and I will do anything to help. You deserve happiness and love and everything good in life, and you will get it. One day you will get it. Just hang in there sweetie. I know it's hard. :( And I wish it wasn't. About the month and 2 weeks. Is the streak over? :( Love you, Erin (Reply to this) (Thread)

ransom_worthy 2003-04-15 02:37 (link)

Erin My Erin, He says them because they are true. And that's okay. He's allowed to say the truth. I wouldn't want him to lie *sighs* It's just sometimes it really hurts. That's all. I'm just me Erin. There's nothing wonderful about that. Because truly deep down Im a horrible person, and maybe I'm just good at hiding it or something I don't know. Yeah...the streaks over. No worries, only 11. Not a major number or anything. And I learned a very important lesson. Peroxide burns and so does getting sunburn on top of it. ~*~ ME~*~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: hypermonkey2103 2003-04-15 10:22 (link)

Tonia, He says them because he has to make himself feel better. You aren't any of those things. You are a wonderful person to me. And even if you aren't to anybody else, which i know you are, but even if you aren't to anybody else just know I luv ya for you and not somebody you aren't okay. Glad you learned a lesson about the sunburn and peroxide. Very valuable thing to know. ;) Erin (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)