PUnK PiXiE (ransom_worthy) wrote, @ 2003-04-11 00:41:00

Current mood:	sad
Current music:	Clay Aiken: I'm Not Supposed To Love You Anymore

~*~ I'm Not Supposed To Love You Anymore~*~
*sighs loudly and taps her fingers against the computer desk*

I just....am overwhelmed. Too stressed. I just can't deal with all this stuff. You know? Mom Mom getting in a car accident, them telling Pop Pop he's got even shorter to live. Listening to my mom trying to hide her crying at night. I can't...do this. I've gotten a hell of a lot stronger, but I don't think I'm that strong. I know I'm not.

my friend Tonia who I'm moving closer to who's going through the same shit as I am, only worse

Vanns... *rae* Worse? How so? That's...that's not true you know? I mean....it's not.


*sighs again, looking around wishing he was here* Even my games dont make me happy anymore. I'm tired of too much stress and sadness and pain. I'm tired of pretending to be happy when I'm not. More than anything here lately I want to crawl up in bed and never get out. I want to sleep and never wake up. Because at least there, I know he'll be. *starts to cry, and tries to pretend like shes not*

Sometimes, I believe for five seconds, that I'm going to see him soon. That I'll talk to him, and he'll tell me he'll be here soon, and that he loves me. But.. I know....I really do know. And thats what scares me the most.

That once I deal with the fact that hes really gone..



How am I supposed to live without you,
Now that I've been loving you so long


I'm not.

	hypermonkey2103 2003-04-11 01:25 (link)
	Oh Tonia, I'm sorry to hear about your mom mom and pop pop :( I wish I knew how to make it better, but honestly I have no idea. :( I'm sorry sweetie. You know you can talk to me anytime you want. I'll listen. I know I can't say I understand what you are going through but I can say I will try my best to understand and listen and help. Luv ya Tonia Nicole, Luv, Erin (Reply to this) (Thread)

vannahspook 2003-04-11 08:42 (link)

Worse. I used that word mostly to describe it for Raivyn. You know my laziness. *copy/paste* But, you see them. That's a good thing. I can't see them. I sometimes hear them at times. Not a lot, but rarely. I have to believe they're real. I have to. I have no choice in the matter. It isn't a matter of if they are, they are. To me at least. And once you read my journal (as soon as I update *cough*), you'll realize they are fighting with me. Fighting between my heart and mind. (Reply to this) (Thread)