í løve ýou mo®e thãn lifé ît§elf ··» (punk__fetiish) wrote, @ 2003-06-25 23:05:00

Current mood:	disappointed
Current music:	Me \\ Staind

Blah...
Some things I need to say-;-
On Sunday I walked out of my house and went over to my Pap's house. I walked out because me and my mom just can't stop fighting...it's over the stupidest things ever. She told me I lied to her, and I hate whenever people put words in my mouth, another thing is she got mad because I said she only has one more year until I'm 18, and the year she does have control over me is shitty. I just..I hate how she puts me down in everyway. Whenever she's pissed or upset she just tries to make you feel that way so she's not the only one. You can't be happy around her unless she is. It was effecting me and Pat so badly too, we've been fighting the past days nonstop because of her basically. He said I was taking my anger out on him...and believe me, that's the last thing I want to do. I love my mom so much, more than anything...it's just I can't handle as soon as I get home from work or whereever she has to start a fight and cut me down so much. I really miss her, and I'm so scared to talk to her because she thinks I left her for good. Which I didn't...I just think some space between us would be good ya know? I'm doing this for her, but I doubt she'll realize it. I miss my sisters too, I mean me and Cortney talk online...but I haven't spoke or seen Tianna and Jessi until last Sunday. I just hope they understand why I left. I know as soon as I go back into that house I'll be pointed out as the bad person and all. I just hated how much she fought with me...sometimes it got to the point where I just wanted to punch her because she wouldn't stop it. But my grandparents and aunt are cool about it, my Pap is happier than ever because I'm spending alot of time with him. See, my mom has a gunge with my grandparents because she says they treat me better than the other girls, which I don't see how. Whenever her and Mike were having those fights they all came over here and my gram spent almost a thousand dollars on them for clothes and trying to help her on her feet..and she says there don't care. They buy the girls school supplies, school clothes, almost anything they want for Christmas. I just don't understand how selfish she can be. Whenever she could cut them down..that's the time when I really just wanted to shout things and get it off my chest, but I couldn't bare to hurt her feelings so I kept it in. I knew I should've said something...I don't know, I just need to let this all out because it kills me so much to keep it inside. I can't tell my grandparents...I have no idea how they would react. My mom has done so much in the past to hurt me...but I still love her...she's my mom and all. I just hope she doesn't hate me too much...

	bunkie 2003-06-27 01:01 (link)
	aw im so sorry to hear that! well hopefully u feel a lot better soon and u go back to ur mom. i kno it might seem bad but like in a couple years u'll 4get all about it. we're teenagers..fightin wit our parents is jus a normal occurence! xO feel better - talia (Reply to this) (Thread)