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Poser (poserbunni) wrote,
@ 2003-08-24 20:18:00
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    Current mood:Let Down
    Current music:Kelly Clarkson - Low

    I have a friend (I'm not allowed to say who in case other ppl see this) who I used to be so close with. We were like sisters. I could tell her anything and I always assumed she felt the same way about me. She used to tell me all the time "Erin I love our friendship" and I'd laugh because it sounds so corny but I felt the same way. I swear I would not be with Chet if it wasn't for her and her mad skills at Operation:Simple Plan. She helped me to get him to like me. Yesterday I found out that she likes him. This is kinda weird. I mean, she helped him think of a cool way to ask ME out. I've always kinda suspected that she liked him but she denied it completely. I'm not pissed that she likes him because believe me, I know how hard it is to try to not like him. I'm just pissed that she couldn't even tell her best friends. Well no I know why she didn't wanna tell me...I'm his girlfriend lol. But what about her other best friend? Couldn't she tell her? Instead, she told her whole cabin at camp. These are people who aren't supposed to know her as well as her two best friends do. She didn't even like one of the girls! She always wrote to me about how one girl (who goes to our school) was sooo annoying. But yet she told them and not her best friends.
    I actually think it would have been cool if she had just come out and said "Chet, this month away from you has made me realize that I have strong feelings for you" LMAO JK!! No but seriously, I think I would have liked it if she had told me that she liked him. Then we could have more fun with Operation:Simple Plan. I know that my friend would never wish something bad on me, but I'm a little worried that she might do whatever it takes to get Chet. Even if it means hurting me accidentally.
    So many more things make sense now. For instance, now I understand why she didn't want Chet to tell me that he loved me. And I know why she didn't want me to tell him my wish. And it never made sense until now: she wouldn't tell me why Chet was depressed because "it's not her secret to tell" but yet she didn't mind telling someone MY secret. Was that her secret to tell? It's almost like she wanted to take away from the special-ness of that secret, and make it public. It ruined my whole fucking reputation. I don't even know why I forgave her for that one! I couldn't go anywhere in school without people whispering "Oh did you hear about Erin and Chet?" "Yea omg she's such a slut!"
    Secrets aren't secrets when more than one person knows. She couldn't keep MY secret, and then she couldn't keep her secret about who she liked. Did she really think that I wouldn't find out? Maybe now she'll know how to keep secrets...

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