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*Kes* (poisonxnitemare) wrote,
@ 2004-04-23 21:59:00
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    Current mood: thoughtful
    Current music:Tourniquet - Evanescence

    i totally just fucking deleted my entry! dammit!
    okay..ill start over..::breathe in, breathe out::
    ALRIGHT. This week has been okay, what i remember of it anyways...ive been such a shitty person and student but i had fun while doing it. (doesnt that sound horrible?) i DO remember pissing off a lot of people, mainly thomas and my family, skipping a shitload of classes, and getting caught today by juice. damn him! anywho, today was a lot better than yesterday, at least. it made my day when thomas told me how happy he was cuz ive been pissing him off way too much lately. and he wrote me a note with all the lyrics to i guess what you could call "our song", which was so sweet. i love that fucker to death.
    and after skipping fourth block with ryan, james, mark, etc., i went back to caseys with carth and lunchbox. that was fun. we hung by his pool and in his room (hehe i saw his bum...*TOTALLY ON ACCIDENT*) then we we went driving around with his sister. we went back to kempsville lakes and hung around for a little bit with bryant and carry and stephen miller...i havent seen that kid in awhile so that was cool. then i went home cuz im still grounded. :(
    but even though ive been having fun skipping and getting fucked up with my peoples, ive just felt like shit this past week...physically, mentally, socially. physically ive been fucking up my head with all this shit and i can barely remember one thing about the few classes i went to these past 5 days. mentally ive felt like a bitch and a failure, more than usual anyways. and socially, like i said, i pissed off some people i really care about. at least thomas has forgiven me (i think) for winning the award for the biggest Hypocritical Bitch. i cant stand making him mad at me, but sometimes i just cant listen to what people tell me even if its for my own good. Im just too fucking headstrong and STUPID! bleh.
    yeah...and it was weird tonight when blane and kienan were talking about their past addictions. not just drugs, but other stuff too...and i wanted to tell them about mine so bad but i cant cuz im still battling it. it sucks. ive been addicted to a few thing but one of them is pretty bad, and i dont know...addiction is such a strong thing...and it takes so little to start and so much to end it. anyone whose been addicted to ANYTHING can relate to me.
    OH! but christine called me today! that was awesome...the thing she told me was kinda weird though...not bad, just weird. i was kinda expecting her to tell me though. i was so glad to finally talk to her again, over the phone, not just over AIM.
    anyways, gotsta go.

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