haha hello there
i havent written in this thing for alongtime..im sorry to those loser who actually read it lol jk ur not a loser i love u but anyways yea i havent been coming on as much been busy and in trouble lol always.... lifes ging good for the most part i try not to let the little things bring me down anymore...i tend to say oh well alot now
yea sooooo yesterday what did i do i went to skool thank god its almost over i dont really even need to go this week we finished everything but most likly ill go anyways cause it will be fun....i hate my skool thats sad but for some reason im gunna miss it..i dont really like the people some exceptions but for the most part no...so i dont kno y im feeling soo sad..prob cause im going to a new skool next year...forget that i dont really care...the real reason is my teacher mrs malott man o man i love that lady she like dang the best person i kno..i really love her i would do anything for her..i cant explain y and most people would be like shes ur teacher but for reals i love that lady..shes halped me alot and everything shes just there for me like a friend and stuff but anyways...
theres been alot of good stuff going on as well......ive made up with some friends i was having problems with befor i really miss some people though im drifting and i dont want to i wanna go bak to the old days.....like weeks ago or even years...i feel like im not myself like im someone else i charish my freinds yet im forgetting them and i shoudnt.....i miss people from wilson and i miss ERIKA and i miss MICKEY its liek what happened where have i been...especially with mickey we used to always be together never seperate...but really when it came to up chuck we were always together all 4 of us .....(upchuck was a local no talent band that included me tianna ashley and mickey) everything was us four always if one was going we were all going and now its like the three of us (me ashley and tianna) and barley that its just sad how people drift apart...but hopefully we will find our way bak cause the good friends r here to stay (cheesy line).
today i found out my grandpa is dying...now i dont kno what to do...i barley know him i feellike ive missed so much a friendship i could had with a man i LOVE...i peson who i should have taken the time to get to kno but i dont kno what to do im gunna go see him tomarrow i cant loose it in front of him..but i kno i will all i wanna do is cry....i should have been closser to him i should have cared...y didnt i, y was i so selfish ive prob seen him once in a year....i used to kno him welll i used to hang out with him..have a conversation, i used to care what he thought and he used to are what i thought...now its all on me, he doesnt even kno whats going on he doesnt even kno who i am i want him to kno so badly and when i kiss him good bye i want him to kno i love him maybe he does..its just gunna be soo hard...how am i gunna do it....life sucks...i want more time to make up fr the stuff i was to stupid to do befor.
here i am a girl sitting here feeling sorry for herself when i should just do something about it....well ot anymore im going to make the best out of it....i dont care what u have to say if im in a good mood dont put me down jut cause ur not im gunna try my best to see the brighter side of everthing just to be happy for myelf just to be here just to have what i have no mor tears right? right no more just a smile : )
i was talking to erika and it about killed me i felt this - small like i was the worst person i kno she didnt mean to make feel like this but i did i felt like i was such a freaking idiot....we were close for that short time..i really loved her i trusted her with so much and she trusted me we had the sertain respect cause we knew what was going on in one anothers life and we were just there..if she was upset i would have done anything just to make her stop crying...i was sooo happy for her when her and kirk got bak together i was dying of smilling so much and jumping up and down it was like the best time cause she loves hima dn he loves her..there meant to be and i was just happy...and yester i was like "were drifting apart huh?" and shes like " yea we r" she always here but im not i feel like ahhhh i cant explain it i felt like i was loosing something so important to me like i was loosing something i loved...i ender the convo with erika "LOVE ME!!!" i dont kno exactly what that means but i kno i meant it i kno i want her to be my friend for along time and i want her to..well...basically love me like my other friends and i dont kno ahhhhhh is this making any sense to u? it doesnt even make sense to me...
im sorry if im not there for u....maybe i just cant maybe i want to and im sorry im not maybe we'll become closser again maybe we wont....to amny maybes but i KNO i love u guys and would do anything for u if u need me u kno where i am...
so thats basically it for now just a few things that have been going on...good and bad....and although i talk mostley about the bad the good stand out.....
: ) ~kim
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