Aynsley (pinkhair315) wrote, @ 2004-10-08 00:05:00

Current mood:

stressed

i want him to come back home
so this being without joel thing is really starting to set in... the first couple days were sad, then i got ok.. and i thaught it would stay like that... and now im REALLY fucking sad. i try to do stuff after school and keep my mind off of it but thats so hard... jenny and i went to a thrift store the other day and the first fucking shirt i see is some goofy ass bowling shirt... so i sent it to him the next day..

it sucks becuase i want to talk to him all the time and i cant, i know he's mad busy with work and getting settled in and shit but its hard not seeing him and even harder not being able to talk to him. we rarely talk every night.. its tough becuase he is pretty much my best friend. i wannna be able to see him whenever i want to but i cant, i used to be able to drive up to his house like everyday and chill with him.
so many people are saying that its not gunna work out and its so damn hard to hear that comming from almost eveyone i know. i fucking love this kid and i dont want anything to happen to us. he is amazing and this is just a test of our commitment. i have so much faith in this relationship its not funny. i say fuck you to all those people who say its not gunna last. were different than normal couples...we have an amazing connection, something that i have never had with anyone. i thaught i loved ruben, i was so off. joel is the best thing that could have ever happened to me... AHHH I MISS HIM ALOT. im soppossed to see him next weekend....im excited about that, its gunna be weird cuase i havent seen him for 2 weeks, i guess not that weird. but im scared when i go up there its gunna be awhile before i see him again.. :(
and on top of all this mess im so stressed out not having money.. i had to pay $95 for my homecomming ticket. i need $50 for halloween horror nights, $100 for tickets to jacksonville, another $300 to get a new cd player, and the rest of my car fixed...and thers so many shows i wanna see. ahhhh i hate money

	jamezworld 2004-10-11 21:08 (link)
	If you love him that much i think it will work out!!!i was gonna call you to go to the factory on saturday but i broke my fone so i dont have your number!!!!!call me and leave me a message on my fone with your number!!!we should hang out this weekend! (Reply to this) (Thread)