|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||green day - good riddance|
suicide isnt a way its THE way
so my week has sucked how about yours? yea so my new classes really are very terrible and i just heard that sigi dropped spanish 4 so i have no one. yea. friday night i felt like shit and was soaking wet because of a rain fight and i went to swimming and still felt like shit so i decided to go home, take some aspirin, change pants, and come back so i did. i meet mary beth at the swim building when i get back and we hang out for a little while. then we are kind of exciting about the DRK show and how we are going to drag dan borski but at the same time i really dont want to go because i was in one of those i hate the world moods and i just really didnt want to have toput up with anyone. so we call dan borski and he tells us hes going to get to my house in like an hour and a half and were like umm theres this show tonight and we kinda wanted you to go and ummm yea. and he gets angry about us trying to trick him and he tells us to go and we tell him that wed rather hang out with him and then he hangs up on us. so then i felt a little bad and called him back and of course he doesnt answer and i get his voice mail and i just flipping out because my day already sucked and i really didnt need that so i end up ripping something off of my ceiling. so i call him back and leave a really strange message that honestly sounds like im going to kill myself. so we finally decide we might as well go to sacred grounds because its dawson river kids and just orgasm but i really didnt want to talk to anyone. so we get there and i avoid all actual conversation with everyone except for mike dunn and i see colonel and im like wow i should go up to him and apologize in person and end all of this but then i was like im not in the best mood to be doing that so i didnt. then drk played - orgasm- and colonel approached me about us needing to talk so we talked through the situation. and i did something that i know was wrong but oh well. now on to saturday, i went to a car show in philly and walked around for hours on end, then went to 4 different malls and continued walking around aimlessly. mary beth, dana, and i then went to see oklahoma at the high school. after we decided to go to unos and eat some dessert. well we eat it and we see dan borski who had just got off from work and since he got his liscense he was going to take us home. so i called my house to let the know and i just start getting flipped out on and threatened and so there was an intense fight at my house when i got home and i cant wait to leave that place and never came back. yes and i also realized how little baring i have on this world. everyone thinks im the biggest slut in the world and not many people honestly care about me and my life is hell and i dont enjoy it anymore. i tell my parents that i need help and they either dont believe me or they just dont care but how can you not believe someone needs help if theyre asking for it. i truely believe that if i killed myself about half a dozen people would be upset and although i feel for those half dozen people they kind of get out voted. and sadly i want to feel impowered by posting this online but i know no one reads it so im not really sharing this with the world.
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Jen i love you and yes, my vote outcounts EVERYONES, because i am that god damn important, and if i say everyone loves you, everyone loves you god dammit. Werd|
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