| Current mood: |  accomplished |
| Current music: | Nine Days - Bitter |
Partial Self Character analysis 1.
It's very difficult to stay in character sometimes. There's many flavours of Angela.
A character I often play when I'm in situations I dislike is that of the high-spoken, formal, slightly biting, and self-preoccupied ice queen. She's understanding and compassionate, but has no desire to be involved. She often retorts with absurdity. She has no desire to let anyone in. She offers, typically only some worthwhile company over drinks or coffee, some intellectual stimulation and a good conversation. This is why I'm so polite and formal to people I dislike. She avoids conflict when possible, thinking it below her. When she is in conflict, it's usually in defense of something else, which she does as much as she can without getting personal. Her happiness is being left alone finally by all those annoying people.
There's the most often played character: The supportive little sister-y girl. She adores, idolizes, dotes upon, comforts, supports, and generally tries to make herself as likeable as possible to people, usually a certain friend she adores (Because anime, manga, and hentai all tell me so, this figure is thus dubbed "Oniichan"). She's usually played when I'm trying to comfort or help out someone. Or when I'm around someone I want to like me. She tries to boost self esteem, and tries to tell others all the good things she sees in them. She fades away when people want her to...whether she wants to or not. But she's also very fragile when pushed aside. She usually tries not to express her own will, for the sake of her dear Oniichan. The happiness of others is her main priority.
That character develops into the princess. The princess is all encompassing. Because one has become so dependent on the little girl for stability, they generally become indebted to the princess. The princess always gets her way, as a result. The princess is elusive, beautiful, noble, and delicate. She is very selective. Not many people get to find the princess. But those who know me well know her. She lives alone in a castle, in the highest tower, looking out, but not letting just anyone close. Many people seek the princess. If someone is allowed into the tower, and hurts the princess, she will usually tell them to get out and lock the door and never let them in again, not wanting to risk further pain. She can be manipulative if she needs to be, she will lie to keep up her facade of goodness for the royal court. The princess offers the love of the little sister-y girl, but has a will of her own. The princess wants the knight to seek comfort in her company. She enjoys feeling important. And she enjoys it when those who are allowed near are happy, especially if she has helped them. All of my characters are ruled by the princess. She hasn't found happiness yet. Maybe it'll come when she leaves the tower and finds her own happily ever after.
A character that is very sociable is the friendly perv. I call her Lolli. Lolli introduces herself as accepting of others who may not be socially acceptable. As a result, the weirdos treasure her company. After all, what more could a pervy lonely guy want than a pervy, sweet girl who doesn't think his perversion is weird? Lolli is being used by me too much lately, and I think it's throwing me a bit off balance. Lolli is pretty much like the little sister-y girl, in how she praises the accomplishments and the beautiful mind of a certain figure, in this case, the lonely guy. Lonely guy knows he usually can't have Lolli, but the fact that she exists gives him hope. Lolli isn't entirely confined to the sexual realms either. She's just a safe haven for any socially unacceptable minds, of any sort. She takes in the lonely guys and tries to make them feel better. Again, she's like a rewrite of the little sister figure. And she will argue to the death to defend that her outcasts are good people. Lolli finds happiness in cheering people up, much like the little girl. Lolli likes giving the lonely guy hope. Lolli also finds happiness in being someone desirable, someone likable.
A character I often play with people I'm not sure I want to deal with is the mirror. If someone makes faces ^_^ at the mirror, she will throw them right back. If someone compliments the mirror, she will reiterate such sentiments right back. She does unto others as they do unto her. She is simple...but misunderstood. The mirror is a method of avoiding conflict usually. She adopts whatever personality someone presents her with, appears likable enough, and if she feels comfortable, she can typically start to shine her own light. If she doesn't, she will continue being a mirror and be as polite as possible. I play the mirror a lot when faced with new people. When they prove themselves to be safe, I put away the mirror act gradually to allow another character, usually Lolli or the little girl, to surface. If someone really irritates me, I will drop the mirror to let the ice queen give them the hint to go away. The mirror enjoys not having to stay up.
Just a quick self analysis in terms of characterizing the self. It's kind of twisted. The little sister comes in many flavors, from geeky to arty. There's more I can think of, but I'm cleaning right now so I can't type them up.
And as for Aluris and Laulina...well...they're both groupings of these character types, with overlap. Naturally both are based around a princess figure. Aluris started as the little sister/ice queen, who retreated into her icy withdrawal after a traumatic experience, and re-emerges as a developing princess-ish character, who has yet to want to open the doors or the windows of the tower. Aluris also embodies a bit of the Inadequate, another type the little sister develops into. Laulina is very much the little sister type, and a bit of the Lolli (doesn't the name sound similar?) with her socially unacceptable associates, and in a past part of her life, interacted nearly exclusively as an ice queen and a Brat, revealing the princess only for one or two people. She also has some other characteristic I haven't quite identified...
Bah, I'm writing too much. More later.
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