:: for you id bleed myself dry :: (pastallconcerns) wrote, @ 2003-05-26 21:37:00

FUNNY!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH
>
>
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
>
> know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
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> either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
>
>
> AL GORE
>
>
> I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
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> crossing the road represented the application of these two different
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> functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
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> greater
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> services to the American people.
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>
> COLIN POWELL
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>
> Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of
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> the
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> chicken crossing the road.
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>
> HANZ BLIX
>
>
> We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
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> allowed access to the other side of the road.
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>
> MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador) The chicken did not cross the road.
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> This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
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>
> SADDAM HUSSEIN
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>
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
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> dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it
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>
> RALPH NADER
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>
> The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
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> polluted
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> by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
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> unspoiled
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> habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the
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> wheels
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> of a gas-guzzling SUV.
>
>
> PAT BUCHANAN
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>
> To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
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>
> RUSH LIMBAUGH
>
>
> I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
>
> getting
>
> a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is
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> already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
>
> syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real
>
> Americans
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> take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and
>
> when
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> I
>
> say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government
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> took
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> from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
>
>
> MARTHA STEWART
>
>
> No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
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> standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
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> dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
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> information.
>
>
> JERRY FALWELL
>
>
> Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
>
> plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
>
> side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends,
>
> that
>
> chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
>
> I
>
> say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
>
> liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
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> other
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> side."
>
>
> DR. SEUSS
>
>
> Did the chicken cross the road?
>
>
> Did he cross it with a toad?
>
>
> Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been
>
> told!
>
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY
>
>
> To die. In the rain. Alone.
>
>
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
>
>
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
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> without
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> having their motives called into question.
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>
> GRANDPA
>
>
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
>
> us
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> that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
>
>
> BARBARA WALTERS
>
>
> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
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> chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
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> experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
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> life-long dream of crossing the road.
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>
> JOHN LENNON
>
>
> Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
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>
> ARISTOTLE
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>
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
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>
> KARL MARX
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>
> It was an historical inevitability.
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>
> VOLTAIRE
>
>
> I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
>
> death
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> its right to do it.
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>
> RONALD REAGAN
>
>
> What chicken?
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>
> CAPTAIN KIRK
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>
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
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>
> FOX MULDER
>
>
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
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> have
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> to cross before you believe it?
>
>
> SIGMUND FREUD
>
>
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
>
> road
>
> reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>
>
> BILL GATES
>
>
> I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
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> but
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> will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
>
> checkbook
>
> -
>
> and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
>
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN
>
>
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
>
> chicken?
>
>
> BILL CLINTON
>
>
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
>
> chicken?
>
>
> Could you define chicken, please?
>
>
> COLONEL SANDERS
>
>
> I missed one? >>

	happy_emo 2003-07-14 14:42 (link)
	HHAHHAHAHA- that was sooooo funny. i've read some of those things before, but never to the extent like that! lol- ok thanks. (Reply to this) (Thread)