kate...just plain kate... (passengerseat) wrote, @ 2005-04-08 16:19:00

back from hiatus?
not really..
i've been busy with a lot of things lately..
but to be honest, i was busy with ragnarok..
lots of things are happening in my personal life and i just thought i need the break..
messiah got it right when he answered des' question..
des: "why do you play ragnarok?"
messiah: to escape reality..

yeah..he got that right..
in ragnarok you could be what you want to be..
you become well-known because of your skills, and the funny thing is for me the skills i have in game are far greater than the ones i have in real life..
this realization made me question if i could actually survive in trend micro..
yeah, so i passed the test and the interview..but, as our orientors pointed out, there will be fall-outs along the way..people who cannot take the pressure and the rigorous training have nowhere else to go but out.. can i survive? i don't know.. i'm stumped and i get a headache whenever i think about that..
i'm a hunter, with killer damage and super useful weapons..yeah, i'm pretty much an "above average" avatar considering that my equipments cost millions..that sets me apart.. but in real life, i can't seem to find my distinction from the crowd..how am i different? how am i ME? geez, i don't think i can answer that in the next weeks, maybe even months or worse years..


i've had my share of difficult people, in real life and in game..
scenario: i had a chatroom on with the message "B> cursed ruby. BRB in 10mins"
when i got back, someone left a message and she said..
person: OI BILISAN MO! TAE KA!!!
talk about being nice..
but anyway, i bought her item..afterwards i saw her post a chatroom that says "B> blue gems"..
i went in then i said..
ME: sa susunod wag ka magsasalita ng ganun, kasi matino naman pagkakasabi ko diba?
rude people saaaak.. [hehehe! thanks to janjan's sister for that one.]

aside from that there's the usual scenario when i'm trying to kill a monster and someone kill-steals and even loots..
scenario: i'm killing a vadon with my WEAK swordie, a swordie [stronger than me] comes up then attacks the same vadon. i tell him off by calling him "sawsaw!" then he takes the loot that the vadon dropped. then he said: "so, palag ka? pvp nalang!"
good grief..war freak!!! gaddem!!! [thanks to malice for this one.]

in WoE i don't do much..i just lay traps then arrow shower an enemy until cursed..if the enemy is cursed yet still alive, arrow shower till poisoned..he'd probably die by then because curse cuts your walking speed by half and poison eats your hp little by little..add the fact that he's already stripped of his weapon and armor and that there are around 3 people beating him.. good luck to enemy!!!
but somehow, even with my "small" role i find satisfaction in it. because i know that i did well. i did what was asked of me and more. i helped my guildmates, my friends. i was able to prove to the enemy that they should not mess with us. they could ruin my bow, they could strip my weapons and armors. but that won't stop me from trapping them till kingdom come. yeah, i die easily, i don't have defense and i've got less than 2000 hp. but i could be a pain in the a$$.

yeah, people may think that ragnarok just eats up my time, money and energy. but they are the ones who do not understand me. for now, this is my "punching bag". soon enough you'll see me. this is what i want right now, and no one has the right to tell me off. i spend my money. i'm wasting my own time. what harm am i doing to you? NOTHING. maybe you just don't want me to be happy. believe me, you don't need to rub it in anymore. i KNOW. i know it so damn well. you chose for me. you decide for me. anything i think is nice and good for myself is otherwise to you. the hell? it's just a fricking color!!! why can't you let me decide for me?! you MUST NOT control my life. you CANNOT control my life. I WON'T LET YOU. why won't you let me learn from my mistakes? why won't you let me learn on my own? why are you so fucking scared of my decisions? haven't i made it clear? i WILL NOT GET MARRIED BECAUSE IM PREGNANT. like you did. i will finish college. i won't join any fraternity. i won't do drugs. I AM NOT FUCKING INSANE! you're scared because you think that i will do the same BULLSHIT that you did in your youth. excuse me. i'm freaking different. I AM NOT YOU!!!


yeah. evil bitch is back. am i welcome?