Create Journals
Update Journals

Find Users

Create New

Latest News
How to Use



partypunk5 (partypunk) wrote,
@ 2005-01-30 21:03:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Add to Topic Directory  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry

    oh boy
    so today is the first day I kept a meal down. Lunch....3 pizza rolls and some fruit. It was complete and utter hell waiting for dinner to come. Felt like I was 8 months pregnant and carrying around twins. At least something stayed. I felt like I was panic attacking all day. After dinner when I went into the bathroom, it was ultimate bliss. Although i do believe I felt my heart flutter :S The rushing sensation of the knowledge of why I do what I do calmed me down and reminded that it's not worth carrying the "baby." Haha...thats a really ridiculous way to phrase that. I'M NOT PREGNANT FOR REAL. Anyway...remember how I wanted to gain weight? I actually lost weight in my failed attempt at gaining. THis is so hard. I feel absolutely sick all of the time. I kinda figured fuck it. I'll just lose until I can't possibly lose anymore. All the while, if I gain...woohooo nowillkillmyself. haha. HATE THE WORLD---lates current weight: 82 (after a bath) soo 81?

(Post a new comment)

2005-03-02 19:14 (link)
your doing good havent been on here in a while but just showing you some support stay strong

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(Post a new comment)

© 2002-2008. Blurty Journal. All rights reserved.