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XEm0tional!X XDork?X XStar.X (opolkaxdotso) wrote,
@ 2003-08-15 16:56:00
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    Current mood: pissed off
    Current music:The mother fucking Used.

    Suck my fucking dick...
    fuck. im pissed/sad as of right now...

    i cried today.. a little bit.. but that little bit felt sooo bad...because of something... (read down about yesterday and you'll find out. hint: i cried because im insecure about my head/cheeks. lol. sounds funny but read.. )

    today went to school.. late. i went to 6 at about 12:30. i was hellla late.... blah.. stopped at chevron for soda. saw adolph. aww hes so cute. he said i looked good. heh. i havent seen him for like a year. it was a pleasant suprise.

    yesterday: (ill tell why im pissed/sad right now)..

    school yeah blah..
    then last night went to the Holiday show at Roller King. and it was fun and shit. especially after wards when me and elie were outside..i was mix master rhymer. haha.example: her name is elie.. she is so smelly.. here is a curb.. i want some herd. ahahaha. good times. everything i saw i made a lil rhyme for it. heh....pretty intense shit. i was so fucking hyper.. woo off of one canned soda.. wild cherry pepsi.mmmm mmm good!

    but i dunno.. i feel weird or violated when im at Holiday shows or even F*M shows sometimes... cuz theres these one girls.. mainly 2 of em but about all 10 of them(lol.. their whole possy) piss me off. they always stare at me and talk shit.. now i would like to know what in all the fuck have i done to them for them to criticize me and shit i really would like to know. cuz i dont think they have any room to talk shit about me.. they dont even know my name i dont think.. let alone anything about this mother fuckin bitch.(me) :) they seem like cool girls who have a lot of good fun together.. just they hella stare and it makes me uncomfortable. either they hate me.. for some odd reason i dont know about or they think im hott. lol jk.. i doubt that. but yeah damn.. and one of the girls.. i got her live journal adress from somewhere i dont even remember where and i read what her message said on 8/15/2003 and it said something about.. the holiday show last night was good except for that retarded girl with the big head. and im assuming(maybe i shouldnt) that they are talking about me cuz they always stare at me. and that makes me upset and pissed off. maybe they werent talking about me but i dunno. and im hella insecure about my head.. cuz i dont like my cheeks. lol. but anyways.. i just really wish they wouldnt stare at me unless its a good stare :-) ha. and if they have a problem with me.. i just wish they would come tell me to my face or something.. or just not stare.. maybe look.. no stare. lol jk. but i mean if they came up to me and told me what they hate or maybe like about me i wouldnt want to fight or anything(maybe. ha jk) i just wish they would pretty much stop staring and talking shit.. i hate when bitches talk shit about people behind their back and shit..especially if they dont know the chick.. it makes me furious. heh. and if someone that is being talked about (ex: me...?) and are stared it might.. just might make them feel weird and out of place or something. some people may think me or you or someone is out of place or trying to be something they are not or something.. but they dont need to stereotype/criticize. i mean.. im just a teenager girl trying to have fun and go to local shows and enjoy some fucking awesome local music from bad ass local bands.. and support them so they will make it famous.. and just trying to be myself.. Roach. :o)~(lol elie gave me that nick name) but, i mean i dont really consider myself: emo, punk, goth, prep, gangster(lol) or anything.. i dont like stereo typing myself or other people.. i just like being myself. ya know? i mean yeah.. i might be a little weird and not normal(what is normal?) to some people.. but i just say fuck off to all yall(ha) who hate me or whatever and dont even know me or criticize/stereo type me. (heh jk.) im not that mean.. i just say what the fuck, fuck off if you hella piss me off or think im not normal.. fuck off... i am normal.. in my own world. lol. im my own person with my own style own world own whatever. haha. i mean im just me. living my life to the full extent(most of the time). shit..i just wake up.. throw some clothes on. do hair and makeup (somewhat..heh) and out the door i fucking go. im not trying to be something/someone im not..im not trying to be anything.. except myself trying to have fun and enjoy some rad music. i mean... is that bad of me? excuse the fuck out of me for wanting to support some fucking sweet ass local bands with fuckin bad ass lyrics and music. i mean shit. sorry for fucking existing and wanting to help out the local scene. shit. peace im fucking out of here.



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