delphinium (omniscience) wrote, @ 2004-07-06 18:51:00

Current mood:

bouncy

lalalaaaa

i'm a happy happy girl. a very happy girl. been meeting lots and lots of people!! like debbie and sarah and addie and liz and lynette and ben ong and dorothy and bryan and chia yin and shreya and rence and val and assorted others. and i shopped like a mad woman. feel good nananananananaaaa. that's why i haven't been updating my blog =)

i've been also abit scared of late? alot of people *i won't mention names* have been telling me about how longterm relationships don't work if you've started from young and all that jazz. like how the guy'll get bored and stray and has to sow his wild rice and all that. and altho i patently try not to let it disturb me, it does, left right and centre. and how other people are breaking 3 or 4 year relationships cuz they're in a rut and they're bored and ermz... it's scaring the hell out of me. i love ben, but he also won't tell me things until it's too late (ie the tim chan/zhi hui incident when i didn't know anything until gossip gave it to me) and i wonder if he feels the same way. but then again maybe not, cuz he's sensible, which is one of the reasons why i love him so much, but it doesn't make my life any easier y'know? and how other people want to make it work but just can't be bothered cuz it's so much effort. and i try to imagine myself in the guy's shoes and i can't. and it's actually making a paranoid wreck out of me. i know logically i don't have anything to be afraid of since logically he'd tell me if things go wrong and he's sensible about things but sometimes i wish *runs to wish upon a star* i'm stupid when it comes to ben. i cannot, absolutely cannot believe anything will happen until it smacks me in the face and i'm insecure again, cuz i seem to be very different from my pre-op kinda personality. and i dunno if i'm really different, or just obsessing, or a little bit of both. and if i did change at all, what'll happen to me when i'm in brisbane, and how'll he take the new(?) me and eveyrhting and argh! i just feel so crazily scared it's scaring me. sigh. and i haven't seen much of him lately so it's worse.

	(Anonymous) 2004-07-06 12:53 (link)
	darling... u think too much. relax. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: omniscience 2004-07-08 01:41 (link)
	i do don't i? siiigh *cough* overactive magination *cough* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2004-07-06 12:53 (link)
	by the way.... how's shopping? found nice stuff? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: omniscience 2004-07-08 01:40 (link)
	yesyes, very nice stuff. sonn's wallet is woefully empty now =( (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2004-07-10 11:24 (link)
	hmm its ok! money can always come bk! remember the ladies-nice-things fund! ;) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sigh.. pamal01 2004-07-11 04:27 (link)
	sigh... da-da insecure most of the time... have to give her hugs and cuddles more often... rite?.. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: sigh.. omniscience 2004-07-12 10:28 (link)
	yes! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: sigh.. pamal01 2004-07-13 07:46 (link)
	haha... u know u always get it.. all u need to do is just ask.. sometimes u dun even need to ask.. i give on my own... love u (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: sigh.. omniscience 2004-07-14 07:11 (link)
	i knowe like today right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: sigh.. pamal01 2004-07-14 09:48 (link)
	haha... yea... cuddles...hugs...snuggles... all at once... hug u whenever u feeling down. kiss u whenever u feeling silly cuddle whenever u feeling sa.. love u (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: sigh.. omniscience 2004-07-15 10:41 (link)
	I LOVE YOU TOO!!! hehe... happie girlie now (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2004-07-11 12:47 (link)
	my msn: my-mom-gave-me@shit-4-brains.com mmm...pie: http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/pie.htm and.... the t-shirt surgery community: http://www.livejournal.com/community/t_shirt_surgery/ -pat- (Reply to this) (Thread)