| Current mood: | in search |
| Current music: | The Casket Lottery // What I Built Last Night |
wow... this is the first person that i've written almost as many songs about as stacey.... its kind of sad. i haven't known her for that long. she never felt the same. but it has such an impact on me anyways... even though now shes all into dusty... and the dissapointment in her voice when i told her was nonexistant. she said she felt the same.... but people lie sometimes. and sometimes they just misinterpret their feelings. i don't know which one it was... and either way it hurts just as much... so it doesn't really matter. here's another one influenced by her. very quick writing... but i like it. i might take it and make it better eventually. i haven't put the phone down for 3 seconds while i've been home. because she said she'd call me today... but... once again i got my hopes up still knowing that it wouldn't happen.
on the brighter side stacey and alecia and mikeyp came and hung out with me today. it was fun, even though we didn't do anything. i'm only grounded for 2 weeks... i guess it isn't so bad. the rest of break. i'm on random UA's. i only get 2 hours at each band practice. i won't be able to stay the night anywhere but at home for a long time. this really sucks. i'm really not okay. i really wish she was here. but i need to stop wishing that because she never will be, and if she is she wont be here the way i want her to be here. i know eventually someone will come... but right now it feels like i will never find love. i will never know that feeling i once had. the feeling of a mutual love, where you can leave the problems at the door and just be in a state of true happiness. no one knows happiness until they have had that... but what's worse yet is when you've had it, and then lose it.
oh well... heres the song, i didn't even mean to write anything... just to post this. whatever. goodmorning.
if anyone reads this, and they know my number... they should just call and say hi sometime. no one ever calls me just to say hi. that would be nice.
what i wish was love,
brandon
i've been sitting around
just waiting for your call
and when it didn't come
i wasn't surprised at all
but i can still hope
and i can still dream
of a time when things would work
and its a constant theme
the longing for you
the loneliness i feel
the desperation and
the need to be real
i've been sitting around
just waiting for your call
and when it didn't come
i wasn't surprised at all
but i still have this hope
way down deep inside
that you'll come back to me
and put all else aside
i wish you could know
how much you meant to me
i wish you would still feel
that we were meant to be
cuz i've been sitting around
just waiting for that call
so when it doesn't come
i won't be surprised at all
just a little hurt
just a little angry
just a little down
and very very lonely
just a little needy
just a little distraught
just a little tired
and very very desperate
so i'll be sitting around
just waiting for your call
but when it doesn't come...
i won't be surprised at all...
i promise.
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(Anonymous)
2003-12-30 17:49
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i'm sure she'd call you...but she is busy shooting mexicans and black people. (Reply to this) (Thread) |
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 jessicanoelle
2004-01-01 16:31
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What happens when I do call?
Will you feel the same at all?
Or will I be wasting my emotions.
I'm sorry I didn't call.
Damn i'm so afraid to fall...
love and I just keep falling,
Jessica(Reply to this) (Thread) |
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