Brandon (oitotheworld) wrote, @ 2003-12-27 14:10:00

Current mood:	scared
Current music:	Casket Lottery // A Dead Dear

expect a million posts from me today, my mind is flying.

i have realized that even if a feeling is the best one you can remember, it isn't necessarily right. And right now there is a great chance that feeling is highly wrong.
funeral for a feeling.
death of a feeling, death of a friend, i wonder if we'll ever meet again.

so now comes the time to say goodbye. but you know i won't. because i don't have the inner strength to turn away something so beautiful to me even if it is wrong, and it is bad for everyone...

you couldn't understand how much this hurts, how disheartening the things i heard last night were.... what i am going through... you could never know. and i don't know why you didn't tell me the truth. instead you put me through this.
i don't think you care about me.
at all.

but i will always care about you. i will be working on my strength to say no, for if the time ever comes when you want to put me through this again.

im so lonely right now... more lonely then i ever remember being... and my normal antics aren't working. i cannot get my mind off of it. i can't sleep, i can't play games, i can't run away... i can't ignore this... and it is killing me. i wish you would pick up your goddam phone so i can conjure up the strength to tell you all of this. and by all of this i mean goodbye. i can't do this. goodbye. maybe i'll see you around.

you know i won't be able to get those 2 simple sentences out of my mouth.... oh well.
i will figure it out
i always do right.
everything works out.
even if every night i think of you
and every night i miss you

i'll get over it
my heart was captured when i first looked at you
i never seen a girl, as beautiful as you,
all the nights that we just talked
time had ceased to exist....
so everynight i cry
everynight i think

goodbye. goodbye. goodbye. goodbye. goodbye. goodbye. i can't say it. i can't even say it to myself right now. these feelings are too hard to bury underneath... and you would be lying if you didn't feel the same, if the sun would never shine i'd feel just as blue, maybe i just need some time to wash away these thoughts. goodbye. goodbye. goodbye. goodbye. can't say it.
i wish you would say it for me.
i wish you cared enough to say it. you know you're thinking it.

where did my life go... i used to be happy. i used to be normal. one thing hasn't changed from the past, the fact that im in love... but in the past i was loved back.
i... oh god. i can't do this. i CANT.

	jessicanoelle 2003-12-30 03:06 (link)
	i'm sorry, but maybe your right. I'm selfish and I don't care, about anyone but myself right now i'm sorry love(or at least i thought it was) Jessica (Reply to this) (Thread)