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Rejected Graduate School Essays
Lately, I've been applying to graduate schools. The following is a question that appears on many of the applications, as well as a response that, after careful consideration, I decided not to use:
Have you ever been convicted of a Felony? If Yes, please explain.
Well, I wanted to be valedictorian. However, by my senior year I was placed in the 51% of my class. So, I killed the remaining 49% of the class who had better grades then me, as well as three or four people with worse grades who I just didn't like. While this did result in a felony conviction, and a death sentence (Note: I am legally dead in the state of Nevada), I feel it showcases my commitment to academic excellence. Where else will you find a student willing to put his blood, sweat and tears, as well as the blood of many many others, into his academic achievements?'
(By the way, I'm aware I may have already mentioned this little blurb to some of you, don't worry, more pointless shorts are on the way)
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(Anonymous)
2005-01-05 16:57
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You could also point out the fact that, since you are legally dead, you are a member of a minority (albeit a very specific one) and should get some sort of financial aid.
~* Laura (Reply to this) (Thread) |
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