i need to sleep i shouldnt have eaten that chocolate or smoked a bowl...other way areound though. i really WANT to sleep. i am so physically tired. my body hurts so bad, especially my back. my eyes hurt from being open. but i lie down to sleep and my mind races and suddenly i realize i just can't stop thinking and i feel really nervous like really really nervous...the feeling when you really need a cigarette type deal, except i am no longer an addicted smoker or a smoker for the most part. yea so then i get up and smoke and go to bed again but this time i got hgry and ate chocolate which has led to caffiene buzzzz.
i think i am just in nervous but excited anticipation of my big journey
ehh also worried about tomorrow...a busy day. have to get passport photo's, pack, make lunch for my friends because i forgot why i said i'd cook for everyone...damnit...vegiburgers here we go. Then i need to pack more and get everything done and then go to jessies work and then spend the evening/night with her and then wake up early and go home when she goes to work then pack pack pack make sure everything is done, worry about the apartment, about what everyone will think of me, but then happy happy i get to go to baltimore gay pride block party!!! the parade too if my back isn't gone!! unforunately i'll be missing the gay festival on sunday but the block party is the most fun!!! well maybe i say that because i've missed the festival each year. but man the block party is CRAZY. they describe it as a club without the walls. a bunch of streets blocked off and party time!!! i cannot try and meet girls because i am LEAVING and can't get attatched to the idea of ANYTHING. i learned my lesson with M. Attatchment is bad. bad. bad. bad. it ruins everything, especially the root of yourself...
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