The Beautiful Mistake (noloveleftxo) wrote, @ 2003-10-30 21:56:00

Current mood:	lonely
Current music:	-~ Dashboard Confessional-~

I want to see the world!
Today was actually pretty good.. I pulled my print of my double exposure and I love it!!! Ms. Hopkins said she was going to submit it to a contest. Woo I'm soo excited.. So after school class was cancelled wooo!! I was soo happy.. So I went to retake my test and majority of the ones I had gotten right before I forgot how to do!! I was sooo pissed.. Owen's brother was trying to figure it out and was totally fucking it up.. And then when I went outside he saw me get into my Dad's truck and he said, "I want that truck! I want that truck!" What is it with guys and "big manly trucks"? Weird... Alex, Nikita, and I have trouble getting in into the truck! Then we went home and fixed Matt's belt.. Then we went to get the food for the party tomorrow.. I got some film.. Then we went to Mei Wah's! Their food kicks ass!!! I went to open house/ the Europe meeting.. I showed my Dad my print in Ms. Hopkin's room.. He really liked it.. I am soo excited.. Then we went to the Europe Meeting.. They are going to Florence, Paris, and Rome.. I want to go sooooo badly.. My Dad all he was concerned about was the risk of going there.. And the first thing my mom says is, "You better get a job".. Why does she always crush my dreams for everything? Last night I felt sooo terrible. .Thanks for everyone who commented before.. I kept on thinking about it all day.. I almost started to cry during math when I was talking to AJ about it.. I was talking to Stephen Roberts today and I love the fact that he has such a strong faith.. For a while I started to think it's just my imagination, she's okay she won't leave me because everyone is acting like everything is okay.. But it's not.. ITS REALLY FUCKING NOT! I mean jesus, she's dying.. She might not even see Jake (my unborn nephew).. I believe that when you die you fucking rot in a box.. But I don't want her to do that.. I want her to rise up in the heavens and be with that man with many faces and have a glowing body and look after me.. :sigh: I just hate this.. I was sooo happy and now it's like death is everywhere.. Maybe it's a sign.. The end is near.. You won't be prepared.. Man I had so much more to say.. BUt I forgot it.. Damn.. Well I must leave.. Goodbye all and goodnite..

I love you
Jess

Is it better to live in an imaginary world and be happy or to live in reality and be sad, confused, and lonely?

for now frankthebunny06 2003-10-30 23:23 (link)

right now i know things aren't ok, my grandmother died a couple years ago so i have an idea of how you feel. i know it's hard but with time the pain subsides. even though it's a really crappy trade off you have to just cherish the memories you have. to answer your question, i think it's best to do whatever it takes for you to be happy but at the same time you need to know what's goin on in reality. you need a good mix of both in my opinion. if you ever need anything feel free to ask and i will try my best. Corbean-o (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: for now noloveleftxo 2003-10-31 18:43 (link)
	Thanks.. You're such a good friend Corbean-o (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	reality... gravityburn 2003-10-31 14:23 (link)
	Reality blows....alot. I think it's better to live in a dream world. Things are so much more fun that way. Reality is boring....dreams aren't. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: reality... noloveleftxo 2003-10-31 15:26 (link)
	That's true.. But if you live in a dream work for so long.. When reality hits hard.. It's gonna be a bitch... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)