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Grumpy Bear (nirvanagrl1641) wrote,
@ 2004-10-19 11:04:00
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    It's been a long, long time
    Well it's been a while, things have changed A LOT. I moved to Peoria to go to school. I live with my roommate, Nicki. I met my female counterpart, Stephanie, I had an amazing boyfriend, Corey, and I've basically cut myself off from all te people that I was once friends with. My scenery has changed but in all insides have not changed. I'm still a complete wreck and depressed more than ever. Corey and I were together on and off for a month or so and I don't know what happened. We went through periods where we were good but then he'd just start to think that he didn't want to be with me and we'd break up. He'd come back a week later and we'd get back together. Everything was good. But this time I don't think that he is going to come back. I love Corey with everything in me but no matter how hard I try and no matter how hard I try to make him happy it never seems to be enough. I met Corey through Stephanie. She was friends with one of his best friends and I had met him at TJ's house, but I didn't think much of it. He didn't say anything to me and he thought I was stuck up, as I later came to find. The second time we met, we were playing frisbee golf and for some reason I just thought he was cute. I guess the ice had broken a little bit because I wasn't afraid to be myself and be a flirt. He came over with his friends later that night and we kissed. It was one of the most memorable kisses I've ever had. It was perfect. Then everyday after that we were inseperable. I thought everything was going fine, but I'm guessing by the pain that I'm in wasn't going so well. I miss him so much and it hurts so bad. Crying is about the only thing I can do at this point in time. Which is pathetic because I don't cry. I have never been the kind of person to let a male get to me. No guy has ever really phased me as much as Corey. I'm talking with this guy, Kyle right now but he's so shy and well he's not Corey. I hate that I think that way, but I can't help it. It's the truth. I keep hoping that Corey will just show up at my door and want me back, but I really don't think it's going to happen. If I believed in a god then I would pray for help, but I don't so I guess I'll just keep wishing and keep letting my heart break.

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