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Crown of shit.... (myempireofdirt9) wrote,
@ 2005-11-12 19:30:00
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    Current mood: crushed
    Current music:none ..cuz im at my dads...

    guys suck!
    ok...well...im not feelin so hot...physically and otherwise...i feel like shit all over...enough to miss my game this morning...i think im going to barf...and cry...and explode for that matter.....

    guys officially suck...find me a kewl grrl...i think i will fall in love...

    ok well jeff hadnt told me that he cheated on his exgirlfriend...whom i have known since i was about 7... i dont know what to believe...i have no doubt that he cheated..i should have assumed just by the way that he treated me when going out with his most recent ex....i mean he was always hugging me and things along those lines behind her back..and i dont know y i trusted him...he has told me a lot of sweet things of which i took as things he really felt...im just hoping that he didnt tell everyone that...he is a sweetheart...he really is..but i dont know if he ever meant them...i wonder just how many girls he treated the same way as he treated me...i wonder how many girls he was meeting after classes to kiss in the hall ways...he basically gave me everything i wanted...he kissed me in public...which i craved from a guy for a long time...he was protective..and loving...which i need most of the time...he is good looking...and i love kissing him...its sad that my blurty is a place for me to complain about guys and how they make me so sad...but this is a place i go to write what other ppl dont want shoved in their faces...so i will go on...being sad about a guy...

    he made me happy...not truely happy...but for a good 4 days..i felt really really really good...not even me and brandi argueing brought me down...i mean i felt the best i had in like..i duno...a year maybe?...and then it all came down with a crash..and i was back to wishing in every situation that i would die..and its pathetic...like when we turn in a car..i wish someone would t-bone the car on my side...when we are speeding down the highway i wish i had the guts to open that door and fly out...when i cross the street...i wish someone would hit me...i want someone to be blamed for my death..so if i survive i wont be questioned....that is soo greedy of me....

    i want to die...over a guy....i deserve to be shot just for that...maybe its not only that...i think that now that i have no good vibes from jeff..i can worry about me and brandi rubbing eachother the wrong way..she is sick..and hasnt been on for 2 days..i would call her but besides the fact that i dont know where she is...i dont have n e of her #'s written down...so im just hoping she will call my house on sunday or something...

    jesus i am pathetic....i hope jeff wont lie to me...



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dementedclown
2005-11-13 19:28 (link)
i don't like you so much

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Every good dream should have a grassy knoll.
dementedclown
2005-11-15 20:32 (link)
I need something to read, so update, BITCH. you should watch the TAI video thingy.. they are so retarded i love them. i watched that video you love oh so very much with the two guys. I don't like it cuz it was a dare for them to make out for 2 minutes.. so thats just not fun. and the girl behind them kinda looked like me for a second and i was skered. the end. no it isnt. I love you. the end.

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