heart failed in the back of a taxi.
I don't know what to do. I'm such a nervous wreak. I've met a boy. Yes, I've met a boy. I hope this turns out well. I really do. I am tired of rejection. But this boy is just so sweet and so nice and interesting. (Don't I say this about all of them.) I just want to be someone's girl, as stupid and cliche as that sounds. Thats what I want, and I want it with him. I did want a boyfriend for a very long time.
Then I stopped thinking about it so much. And then he came along. I'm just so nervous that he'll change his mind. I know its not the end of the world is he does. But right now it seems like it is. I want to be positive and I have every reason to be. I am an interesting, intelligent, and good looking girl. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. But it is hard when it comes to boys - I've had no luck. I wish someone would tell me they knew everything would be fine because it really will be fine. Sure, my friends have told me that. And I do believe them.
But there's always that little voice, that little window of doubt that does not shut up. Why do I get obsessive over things so much? I'm worried about something that hasn't happened yet. I'm going to see him on Friday. Part of me thinks Friday will be fine and I'll have nothing to worry about. My nervous side seems like its taking over. I hate that. So, I'm trying not to think about it.
I'm just upset that something is happening that I have no control over. I really hope that this is good though. I really do.
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