Crazy Dave (mr_adams) wrote, @ 2008-01-04 01:06:00

Saying goodbye this time, the same old story. Seeing you cry makes me feel like saying sorry.
Only a bit a go, my despair over financial woes gave way to hope. The hope--that I could make due by getting a second job on weekends--has now been dashed by my sudden, unfortunate layoff at work. Now in order to get by, in all likeliness, I would have to find 2 jobs just to pay my car payment.

My girlfriend, the one person I am thinking of at all times through this ordeal, is so upset right now. I've all but decided to sell my car and venture out on my own to pursue my main goal--become financially independent. If I can do that, there's no limit to what I can do when Molly has completed her schooling and has a career of her own. I love her so much and I am ready to invest a lifetime with her.

The only problem is... how do you really invest a lifetime with someone who isn't physically in your life for an unspecified amount of time?

A long distance relationship isn't my first choice obviously. But it is one I am willing to make if we can both agree we are committed to each other. There are those out there who don't agree with that or with my thinking. That's fine. I'm coming to the realization more and more each day, that if I focus too much on what everyone else wants me to do, I'll lose focus on what I really want to do.

Right now, I want to get out of this house and prove to Molly, to my parents, to my friends and to myself that I am capable of making it in this world no matter what life throws at me. I want to see what life away from home is really like. I want to do something for myself that I've been afraid to do because I was too scared of what might go wrong rather than look at it for the good that could come from it. I want to expand my horizon and start reading and writing again. I want to enjoy my worklife and be confident that it's a pathway to a better life for me.

Too long have I sat around in this house and done nothing with my life. I didn't mind it until I met Molly. Now I have dreams of owning a home one day and living a comfortable life with her. I don't care what I do as long as we can be together in our own place. If I really want that dream to come true, I've got to get off my lazy ass and make it happen. I screwed up in high school and college. Maybe I'll go back to school one day, but for now I'm gonna do this on my own. I don't want help. My motivation is unrelenting.

We shall see what the coming days bring...

PO,
-CD

mstenebrific 2008-01-04 03:39 (link)

I am glad I got up to read this because it makes me feel a whole lot better. It makes me incredibly happy to know that you are that devoted to me and I am proud to say that I have a boyfriend as incredible as you are. Although it's not one of the better reasons, the fact that some people do not agree with your ways of thinking in the long distance relationship sense, I believe it's one more reason to push you to go. It's a good reason. I've always been a strong believer in proving people wrong and people expressing their own opinions in places where it doesn't belong makes me very agitated. So I propose that we prove to not just ourselves but to everyone around us, that no matter how far away we are from each other, nothing can stop our love. I am willing to support you in everything that you choose to do in life, and I am very much looking forward to what the future has in store for us. The best part about the future is that no matter what surprises it throws at us, I know that the concept of you and me living together and starting a life together, is going to be a part of it. I love you Dave. <3 Molly (Reply to this) (Thread)

pokey131 2008-01-04 13:41 (link)

Long distance can work. Love isn't enough that's for sure, but trust, devotion and optimism will get you through. I think it's a great time for you to do this, for yourself, your relationship and your future. This is your time and I wish you all the luck. Expect to be disappointed and discouraged because it's bound to happen a few times, but continue to have the strength to know that you can and WILL make it though. Good luck. I can't wait to hear about your successes to come! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	pokey131 2008-01-08 17:17 (link)
	I hate to put it this way but I just saw what happened to your house on the news. I'm really sorry about your pets, I know how much they meant to you. My prayers are with you and your family and I hope it gets better from here. I'm sorry again and my best wishes, let me know if there's anything anyone can do. (Reply to this) (Thread)