My past crushes have been for two reasons.
1. Loneliness
2. Convenience
When I met Justin, I was not lonely. I was content with the relationships I already had and appreciated them very much but knew there was a void inside of me that could only be filled by the love of a boy. No boys from my past. I didn't want anyone that I once deluded myself into "loving". I knew that the boy I wanted would come to me but never did I expect him to so soon and nor did I think I needed him to. Like I said, I was not lonely. But when I met Justin, I needed him. I needed to be held and touched and kissed and loved by him. And he did just that. And although I find our relationship rather inconvenient because he'll be gone until December, this is what I want. A love that isn't circumstancial.
When I say that I'm in love with him, there's a knot of happiness in my stomach that affirms it.
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