| Current mood: |  bitchy |
| Current music: | social distortion |
hahaha...you have to read all these...they're hilarious...
Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
The Teacher fainted.
Restroom Poetry
The following are poems found inscribed in public restrooms
(fill in the blanks using your imagination):
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to ****
But only farted
Here I sit
What a caper
I have to ****
But I'm out of paper
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And **** my pants!
Some people come here to take a ****,
I came here to leave one.
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to **** and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bull**** on the walls...
Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to **** out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away
(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you.
(Seen above a urinal)
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!
(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."
(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.
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 | Hey 
(Anonymous)
2004-01-05 00:05
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haha, those things are funny, especially the top joke. yeah.. i just started readin this blurty thing, and it's pretty cool. i love you Erin -Ethan- (Reply to this) (Thread) |
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