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Brett came through for us just in the knick of time - the new season of The Amazing Race started yesterday. Fortunately, my TiVo wish list caught it, but unfortunately, TiVo doesn't know what to do about CBS's stupid practice of allowing 60 minutes to run over-time and not updating its schedule accordingly, thus allowing TiVo to believe it may change the channel during Cold Case when in fact, Amazing Race is still going!! It's the regular Sunday night stress in my household - do we have to watch the last part of Amazing Race live so TiVo can get Desperate Housewives? It's almost enough to get us to buy another TiVo box (yes, our stress is mostly TV-related). So sadly, we missed about 15 minutes of the Race last night . . . . Regardless, I will proceed to commentate as if I saw the whole thing. The Teams Kynt & Vyxsin - the dating goths. The gender identity and/or sexual orientation of this team is unclear. They claim to be dating, but how can anyone believe that the man is straight? We theorize that he is a lesbian. It's really the only way it works. They should be a good addition to the Race line-up. I wonder how long the KISS makeup is going to last - it's got to be hard to keep it fresh when you're running around without a break for days. I'm guessing it will be a priority for "Kynt" (his real name is probably Brian)- we'll see scenes of him going into airplane bathrooms with his enormous makeup bag. Jennifer & Nathan - one of the inevitable pretty dating duos. Their deal is that he cheated on her and so they have trust issues. They've only been dating for 2 years - not enough time to make it worth it to salvage the relationship after infidelity. I say she should have ditched him when he cheated because it's going to be a lot harder to do so next time he cheats and they are married with children. Based on this apparently gullibility/stupidity, she probably deserves whatever bad treatment he is sure to lay on. Ronald & Christina - the father/daughter team. These teams are always doomed to failure. Sure, there are tears now about how much they want to not let each other down and how he is so sorry he missed the first 27 years of her life, but that's all going to change the first time dad whips out the genius techniques that made him such a loving father in the first place. Shana & Jennifer - the "attractive" all-female team. These ones aren’t as attractive as past all-female teams, but they are sure to be as stupid. Azaria & Hendekea - the engineer siblings. They finished first and they’ll probably be a good team, but it’s hard to know if they’ll be good characters. My favorite thing about them so far (other than their names) is that in the intro they are wearing lab coats and playing with beakers, although they are supposedly engineers (and not chemical engineers). I don’t know much about engineering, but I’m guessing not a lot of facilities engineers spend any time mixing chemicals. Lorena & Jason - the dating couple that I forget about. I don’t know what their “hook” is. I do know that she cries a lot. Nicolas & Donald - grandfather/grandson team. This is a new combo for the Race (as far as I know – it’s not like I’m actually going to do research). The old people never make it far, and especially not without another grouchy old person to yell at them, but I think this team will be entertaining. Donald reminds me of Rudy from Season 1 of Survivor. Ari & Staella - the best friends with bad-ass gay guy attitude. This is the only time you’ll hear about them because they were eliminated. And they deserved to be because they were being cruel to their donkey (only in reality TV world would that sentence ever make any sense). Marianna & Julia - the sisters who I believe are Cuban. Don’t even think about pronouncing their names in the Americanized way. I have a feeling this team is going to suck but think it’s always someone’s fault other than their own. The best part about their intro is when one of the sisters is saying how they are going to flaunt their feminine wiles to get ahead in the race and the video cuts to them in bikinis – the other sister totally checks her out! So creepy! Plus, they have tiny boobs, so I’m not sure what they’re going to flaunt exactly. Rachel & TK - the “hippies,” although I think it’s unfair to call her a hippie just because her boyfriend has dreads. They are “newly dating” and it was love at first sight. At least that’s what he says about her – she was awkwardly silent at this point, which is unsurprising since I’d give him a 76% chance of having cooties (they’re probably living in his hair). Kate & Pat - the married lesbian ministers. Please excuse my offensiveness, but this team is clearly going to be extremely annoying. Old lezzies are bad enough, but ministers? Forget about it. They’re going to constantly be talking about how god wants them to share their vaginas with each other. And anyone who dislikes them (and they all will), they will assume it’s because they are gay and/or called of god when really it’s just because they are annoying and think they are called of god. The Episode A good season opener in my book. I like that they skipped the detour and roadblock so the episode could be kept to an hour (unless the donkey thing was the detour, in which case, why didn’t anyone choose the other option, whatever it was – any regular viewer of the Race knows that when animals are involved, it’s best to stay away). There wasn’t a lot of cattiness or under-handedness yet (stealing a cab doesn’t count – that’s protocol), but I think I’m going to like this season. And it’s always good to see Phil again – I wonder who will have a gigantic crush on him this season? Ireland looks amazing, although I hope they get out of the English-speaking world soon. One of my favorite aspects of the Race is watching people trying to communicate with people who don’t speak English – it really brings out the worst in people.
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